Vibe #3

This isn't a surprise! It's just repeating the end of Vibe #2!

So Geoff Johns is already off Vibe. I realized he was only on the thing to give it a bit of a jump start and then he was going to move on to give a monthly title to the next big DC loser that nobody would ever want to see in a monthly title. Taking over for writing duties is Sterling Gates. The only other thing I've read by Gates is The New 52 Hawk and Dove which was just awful. Although Sterling Gates assured me it was meant to be that way.

The best way to show that a super hero is a really good super hero is to have him fight another really good super hero. They should have some kind of misunderstanding that could easily be talked out but instead comes to blows. The fight will either end in a draw when they realize they don't actually have a problem with each other or when the super hero whose name is on the cover of the comic book beats the crap out of the other super hero. It looks like Kid Flash is about to get his ass handed to him.

The comic begins with Vibe patrolling Detroit because he feels it's expected of him. It probably is because Amanda Waller and Agent Gunn are still listening to and spying on him through his high tech goggles. They're concerned with his ability to keep his identity secret since he's already told his brother and it looks like he's about to tell his father as well. And since his brother Dante is going to eventually be a super villain, they have every right to be concerned. But mostly, Amanda just wants to test out his powers against a Speedster since the main reason he's on the team is to defeat The Flash when the Justice League of America finally goes toe to toe with the Justice League.

And if he's not the key, better that he die at the hands of Kid Flash when it doesn't mean anything than when he has to save the world in the Trinity War!

On Vibe's way home to dinner, he's picked up by a Justice League of America Normie Personnel Transport for a super not-so-secret mission. Vibe can't fly so he's got to ride to the emergencies with all of the normies.

Ammunition that slows down a target still needs to be able to hit the fucking target. Good luck with that.

Amanda Waller is a complete dick. She's using tax payer money to fund an organization that's main goal is to destroy the Justice League, an organization whose main goal is to protect people. But since she isn't in control of them, she needs to stage a war with them and knock them down a peg. It's American Imperialism 101. But she doesn't stop there with her dickish ways. She's also decided to fuck with poor innocent Kid Flash simply to test Vibe's abilities. What the hell has this kid done to you? Well, besides his team infiltrating Belle Reve and embarrassing the fuck out of you and the Squad. Oh. You know, that might be the real reason behind this. She's trying to save face. But what happens if Red Robin realizes she's behind this attack on Kid Flash? Is he going to negate the mystery deal they made where the teams don't fuck with each other in return for that mystery mutual benefit?

During the search for Kid Flash, Vibe constantly chatters at Agent Gunn, asking questions and thanking him for his help and showing interest in his personal life. How long before Agent Gunn feels too guilty to keep up Amanda's bullshit with this kid?

They find Kid Flash pretty quickly in the subway which means they're all unarmed and helpless at nearly the exact same time. Hypo-accelerants! What a joke! Good thing they brought Vibe along! I mean, the only reason they're here is to have Vibe battle Kid Flash so I'm guessing the hypo-accelerants were bullshit and they were all actually just firing blanks. Have I mentioned Waller's a dick? Everybody needs to just stop working for her. Just stop, people. Ignore the nanobombs in your neck. Ignore the possible court martial. Just stop feeding this beast! It's the only way to end her horrible dick influence on the DCnU.

Vibe knocks Kid Flash on his ass with his Vibrator Powers but Kid Flash is off and running again almost immediately. Vibe can see Kid Flash's energy trail, so he hunts him down. Gunn warns Vibe to not engage with Kid Flash and to wait for back-up once he finds Kid Flash because Agent Gunn doesn't want Vibe figuring out that Kid Flash is not a thief or an arsonist or an interdimensional breacher. And Vibe realizes some conspiratorial bullshit is going down because he saw the way Agent Gunn killed that other creature that simply wanted to talk. So Vibe goes rogue.

Oh come on! You have vibrational frequency powers! You can mimic static better than that!

When Kid Flash grabs up Vibe to confront him, there's an energy surge between them and Vibe is somehow able to see Kid Flash's past. This is where someone makes a "or future!" joke. But not me! No sir! Unless I can make a penis or vagina joke, I keep my mouth shut!

Oh! Maybe Vibe can cure Kid Flash of his problem with his vibrational frequency that threatens to tear him apart when he's out of costume! That way, artists can continue to draw Kid Flash out of his costume but not be wrong to do so!

Kid Flash explains to Vibe that he's not a criminal and that he was searching for an odd place he recently had a dream about. He believes it's the place where he arrived from the future. Since Kid Flash doesn't know anything more, Vibe suggests Kid Flash let Vibe touch him. For research, of course. But some pseudo-scientist on Waller's team makes up some stupid mumbo jumbo that sends her into a panic.

I'm pretty sure ARGUS hires Coast to Coast AM "experts" as their scientists. If they can think it, it must be true!

Kid Flash puts a stop to all the touchy-feely bullshit going down because he doesn't want ARGUS to know anything more about him than they already do. Kid Flash takes off telling Vibe that maybe he shouldn't be working for the bad guys. I think that's the first thing Kid Flash has ever said that I agreed with! Kid Flash has been unbearable in all of those books written by Scott Lobdell. But Sterling Gates made him sympathetic and likable in just a few pages. Lobdell is awful!

Sometimes I think my commentaries are just the candy coated shell surrounding the sweet chocolate of a good "Scott Lobdell sucks" statement.

Meanwhile back in Detroit, systems failed all over the place from the time destroying feedback loop created when Vibe fondled Kid Flash. This caused Gypsy's power dampening field in her cylinder to crash, allowing her to take the form of an ARGUS guard and call for help. Another guard opened Gypsy's cylinder to free the guard and Gypsy escaped. You know, this probably wouldn't have happened if Amanda Waller told people the things they need to know. If the guards knew Gypsy's power was to look like other people, they might have been suspicious and not opened her cylinder. I wonder when Amanda will learn that keeping all of the information to herself usually simply backfires?

But in the end, Waller is happy because they determined that Vibe can sever a speedster's link to the Speed Force. He will indeed be useful if he ever has to go against The Flash.

Later, Cisco has a conversation with his soon-to-be super villainous brother Dante. Dante, being a future super villain, knows all the right untrustworthy questions to ask and helps grow the seed of doubt in Cisco's head into a nice little seedling.

That voice at the end might be Gypsy in her native interdimensional travel suit. Maybe.

Vibe #3 Rating: +2 Ranking. Making Kid Flash sympathetic earns the comic +1 Ranks and making Vibe mistrust ARGUS gets it another. At some point, Amanda Waller needs to get knocked into the gutter. She's so unlikable in The New 52.