Sunday, April 21, 2013

Green Lantern Corps #19


Green Lanterns are stupid. Perhaps holding on to piece of Mogo as Mogo reforms isn't the best way to escape being crushed by Mogo when Mogo reforms.

Volthoom is still going on and on about emotions helping him power up to take over the universe. Even though I had a brief glimmer of interest in this story when I realized Volthoom was a cosmic rapist raping across all time and space, I really just can't wait until it's over. I've had it up to here (two feet above my head for those that can't see me gesticulate (hopefully that's all of you!)) with Volthoom's cosmic temper tantrum. I think I gave him too much credit as a diabolical, creepy, horrible villain by suggesting he was a rapist. He's actually just a fucking brat throwing a temper tantrum. And the more he flails and whines and screams, the more he powers up and eventually the universe is just going to give in to his childish whims. Anyway, I don't think "child throwing a temper tantrum" is that far off from "rapist" anyway. Some of you might disagree. Vehemently.

And it's not just Volthoom that drives me crazy. I've had enough of these alternate time line stories. I thought Rotworld was fun but then you knew the whole time it was going to end up being a dream or a do-over or something and everything would return to the unaffected present. I can accept these kind of "elseworld" stories that ultimately leave The New 52 Universe alone but these stories where the alternate time lines and the time travel are directly tied to the actual present New 52 timeline are kind of a cheat and ultimately end up in stupid paradoxical time lines. Why should I care about characters making sure a certain future does or doesn't come about? That means nothing to me because the future isn't set in stone anyway. So an infinite amount of futures are not going to be the one true future anyway. I suppose we should believe that the Legion of Super-heroes future is the "actual" future. But that just makes these alternate time line stories worse. Why should Harvest even exist? If his future never comes true, he should never come to the past. If we have to accept that all futures are possible, then we must accept that all pasts and all presents are possible. As such, we end up with a DC Universe with Infinite Earths. Maybe the editors at DC should go back in time and talk DC out of doing Crisis on Infinite Earths since it doesn't matter anyway. At least that way, they might change time enough to not have to deal with me since Crisis is what turned me on to comic books.

Examining Harvest a little more closely, we see a character that comes from a future that he wants to change. So a character that will never exist if he succeeds is driving a fuckload of plots in the present. This causes my suspension of disbelief to vomit all over the front of its shirt. If we believe that a universe exists for every possible choice, then saving or destroying a possible future is futile. Because all possible futures are both saved and destroyed. I might as well just be reading stories of Harvest masturbating.

And speaking of masturbation, let's see what Volthoom has in store for the greatest masturbators in the universe: The Green Lantern Corps!


Mogo isn't just a planet; it's an anti-rape condom.

Can I mention, for just a brief aside (no, no! This one will be brief!) how horrible and ghastly the anti-rape condom is? Not because of what it does to the rapist's prick. Who cares about that asshole? But the idea that someone expects a woman to wear this thing like an accessory, because humans are assholes and rape just seems to be expected, is grotesque. And it doesn't prevent a woman from being raped! Is the satisfaction that the man will now be in great pain and probably caught enough to warrant the contraption's use? Or is this like putting up a Home Security sign in your yard? Or is just the idea that these things exist supposed to make a rapist averse to rape?

Geez. Who is going to continue reading my commentaries on the Green Lantern Corps when all I can do is discuss rape? I'm suddenly like the comic book store guy in this post! "Hey ladies! Who wants to have a long and lengthy rape discussion with me over dessert and drinks?! Men, you're welcome as well, as long as you're weaker and less powerful than me. Don't worry. It won't get weird!"

I think I just creeped myself out.

Does it even matter if I continue at this point?! I think I can hear Unfollow Buttons being clicked all across the world.

Don't worry! Mogo will save you from the horror of my words!


I think I need a layer of Mogo around my brain.


I scanned this to get all of Mogo's dialogue so the next scan will have its desired effect.


I find this image tremendously comforting.

The limits of the layout of the page forces me to reduce that image to 620 pixels but I hope the feeling still comes through. After all the torment that Volthoom has put the Green Lantern Corps through, this image of Mogo protecting them and pulling them to the safety of its bosom with quiet words of comfort was unexpectedly sweet and touching.

But I imagine the moment won't last too long. I don't know if Volthoom is yet powerful enough to screw with Mogo's past or if planets, evolving over such great lengths of time, are less mutable to his time line changing powers. I don't think I've ever read any Green Lantern stories with Mogo, so I don't know the character's personality. Whether it's different or not here, I love this image of Mogo as nourishing protector of the other Corps Members.

Volthoom isn't sure if his powers will work on a planet either. But he's certainly going to try!


Guy Gardner Put Downs 101: "Remove any part of a person's name. Replace it with 'Crap'."

Volthoom's next big trick is to create Red, Yellow, and Black constructs of every member of the Green Lantern Corps. I take it he has as many strange and wonderful powers as H'el had. You know, any power he needs to advance the plot.

The next few pages are filled with panels of the Green Lanterns fighting their doppelgangers.


This is my favorite panel.

And then all the doppelgangers stop fighting and Mogo reveals that this was not Volthoom's doing at all! Volthoom doesn't have any old power he wants! Mogo does! Not really. I'll let Mogo explain its plan:


Mogo does not just provide refuge and comfort but nourishment as well.

Thanks to Mogo, the Green Lantern Corps is ready to take on Volthoom and put an end to this cosmic event. Hopefully the last Green Lantern Cosmic Event for many, many years.

Green Lantern Corps #19 Rating: +2 Ranking. Mogo's personality being comprised of the way human beings anthropomorphize the planet Earth won me over. I found it odd that John uses the male pronoun at one point in conjunction with Mogo. Being that a planet shelters and nourishes the creatures on it, I'd expect people to generally use the female pronoun when discussing Mogo. Although Mogo is still a planet which, personality or not, is genderless, so I will continue to use "it".

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