Green Lantern #19

This must be Volthoom's wet reality for Sinestro.

At the end of last issue, Hal Jordan was about to kill himself so he could become the greatest Black Lantern that ever didn't live. But now he's spending time gabbing with Tomar-Re because he seems to be having second thoughts. Which is odd for Hal Jordan since he so rarely ever has a first thought. I guess Pauline Fleming, the counselor at Westerburg High, really was serious that whether to kill yourself or not is the most important decision a person can make. At least Hal thinks so because he's actually discussing it with Tomar-Re instead of barreling over the cliff and killing himself immediately.

Hal probably would have gone through with it immediately but Tomar-Re is a member of the Grey Lantern Corps which uses Doubt as their weapon. So now Hal is having second thoughts about killing himself to escape the Dead Zone. And outside of the Dead Zone, Sinestro uses his new fake Green Lantern Ring to teleport away to look for Volthoom.

First off, that's a totally inappropriate sound effect for teleportation. Second off, I didn't think Green Lantern's could teleport. Isn't that just an Indigo power? Not that I haven't done my own fanboy reasoning for why Green Lanterns should be able to teleport! I'm just trying to stick to the Lantern Corps Rules DC has made!

Sinestro ends up on Korugar where he asks for help from Arsona. Do all the people of Korugar have menacing names when read in English? Is there a Manslaughteru? How about a Molestron? Sodomolor? Viciousera? Arsona actually decides to help Sinestro gear up to fight the Guardians simply because this is the first time Sinestro has ever reached out and asked for help. She's impressed that he's learned humility and is willing to save the universe with him. Except that's when Volthoom appears and claims Sinestro is going to save the universe with him instead. That claim seems suspect.

For having the greatest turmoil, he has the least amount of detail in his past timeline montage.

I wonder if Volthoom's Korugarian name is Rapethoom? Because now it's time for him to rape Sinestro just like he's raped all of the other main characters in the Green Lantern titles. Except for Atrocitus. For some reason, he didn't want any of that big beast. I wonder if people from Ryutt have teeth lining their anal sphincters? Instead of rearranging Atrocitus's past, he simply told Atrocitus what it might have been like and Atrocitus went, "Oh my god! I'm a monster!" But now it looks like Volthoom is back to his magic of making the person actually experience the new past (as temporary as it might be. Although Volthoom did suck down the Guardian's Heart of Emotion thing in Red Lanterns. So he should be practically filled up with power now). Volthoom sends Sinestro back to a timeline where he never became a Green Lantern. Sinestro will probably find it a pretty good reality since Volthoom's Rape Therapy generally leaves the victim feeling pretty good about his or her choices.

Oh wait. I take it back. Volthoom is simply talking Sinestro through some what could have beens and then he threatens to kill Arsona. And then I think Sinestro is the first of the batch to not take Volthoom's shit.

I know some others have repelled his advances but I think Sinestro is the first to actually take a shot at him.

Volthoom decides to crack open Korugar and fuck the shit out of it since Sinestro is fighting back. But the one thing you don't fuck with if your an intergalactic super rapist from another time and place is Sinestro's homeworld. Sinestro saves his people and fills them with hope. But since Volthoom feeds on Fear and Hope, he feeds off of the Korugarians which give him enough power to change reality so that Sinestro didn't save Korugar. Which means Volthoom never fed off of the Korugarians' Hope and never gained enough power to change reality. Which means he didn't destroy the planet which means the Korugarians were filled with Hope which means Volthoom fed on them and destroyed Korugar. I can do this all day!

Anyway, Korugar is destroyed. Sinestro is a failure. And Volthoom now has the power to alter reality permanently.

Hopefully the first thing Volthoom does is bring back Ted Kord.

Well DC Universe, it was nice knowing you! Now that Volthoom can change reality whenever and however he wants, nothing can stop him. Unless somebody knows some kind of logic riddle that will send him into a paradoxical time loop from which he can never recover. I believe G'nort knows something like that.

Because the Dead Zone is flooded with millions of Korugarians, Hal Jordan realizes he has to act now. He leaps to his death. Meanwhile in space, Sinestro finds his Yellow Lantern Battery floating amidst the rubble of his home and somehow thinks becoming a Yellow Lantern again will enable him to battle somebody that can just change reality so that Sinestro never found the Yellow Lantern Battery.

Green Lantern #19 Rating: +3 Rating. I give out +1 and +2 ratings all of the time for good books and well told stories. But I have to do better for an issue of Green Lantern where Hal Jordan kills himself. I think I might be Volthoom because this is the reality I've always wanted! So now along with Matu Ba and Damian Wayne and Bloody Mary and Tig and Jack Ryder and Cliff Baker and Stormwatch (kind of), Hal Jordan has also died! That's a lot of people dying lately and I'm pretty sure I missed a few.