Wonder Woman #41

Why is Dick Van Dyke threatening to blow up Wonder Woman?

This issue is called "Balance" because, like all women, Wonder Woman has had to find a balance between her home life and work life. Men never have to figure out that balance because they don't feel guilty about not spending time with their kids or cheating on their wives. Men never think, "Should I be spending this much time at work?" They just think, "Twelve hours at work? I deserve a four hour break at the strip club on the way home!" Balance schmalance! The idea that women need to balance their schedules was created by a bunch of men who feared not having dinner on the table after getting home with cum-stained britches. Play on a woman's guilt and she'll always think she's being selfish when she's actually being codependent! Good work, men! Now even Wonder Woman is confused!

Diana begins by feeling sorry for Donna Troy because Donna Troy wasn't responsible for her actions. She only murdered all of the Amazons' brothers because Derinoe created her to murder all of the Amazons' brothers (and Wonder Woman too, of course!). So Wonder Woman decides to visit Donna Troy and make her feel bad.

"A monster? No! You're just all these other horrible things!"

After chastising Donna Troy for feeling miserable, Diana heads over to visit Zola and Zeke. Zola mentions how she doesn't know how Wonder Woman does it all: superheroing, Godding, Queening, Girlfriending! It's just crazy that she finds the time! All Zola has to do is watch Zeke while lounging safely around Mt. Olympus and, by golly, it's exhausting! Being a non-working mother is the hardest job ever! It sucks spending every single minute with the greatest object of your affection! Sure, she doesn't have anybody adult to talk to but in my book, that's a positive! Besides, I'm sure the Home of the Gods could figure out a way to set up Skype.

"It's so hard being the mother to an immortal God who doesn't need me for anything but hugs and belly raspberries!"

Wonder Woman is also visiting Mt. Olympus because she needs to pick up her new uniform from Hephaestus.

Does the "V" stand for "vagina" so she knows which way to put the suit on?

I don't know how the new outfit helps her embrace the woman she's become. I guess it's like getting her first pant suit?

After her visit to Olympus, Wonder Woman stops by a bridge where some kid is threatening to blow himself up if he doesn't get to meet Wonder Woman. It winds up being some villain who attacks her but she continues to think it's just some kid looking for attention. It's not until the villain calls her The God of War and then escapes does Wonder Woman think that maybe this wasn't some poor kid who just needed a hug. The villain is working with a glowing green pit. Together, they plan on stealing the mantle of the God of War! But the villain doesn't know how to do that. The glowing green pit is all, "Don't worry! I've got just the weapons you need!" Then it spits out a Pegasus and a bow with a few arrows.

Wonder Woman #41 Rating: No change. No wait! -1 Ranking because it was a twenty page comic book for $3.99 in which really not much happened. Sure, we get two pages of sketches of Wonder Woman in her new outfit with commentary by David Finch about how his wife was all, "Stop drawing her with your dick in your hand!"

"But honey! This is hard! I'm just not interested in drawing clothing! I want to draw titties!"

David Finch goes on to explain how difficult it was coming up with a design that made Wonder Woman look tough but feminine. He then quickly adds that "feminine means whatever a woman is, regardless of shape, size or demeanor." So then why was it so hard coming up with the concept if feminine was just an automatic part of the outfit because she was a woman regardless of how she looked?

DC, you owe me about thirty-six cents for the bullshit two extra pages that should have been story! How hard is it for David Finch to fill up two extra pages of story?! He usually wastes at least that many with unnecessary double splash pages! But really, DC. You owe me thirty-six cents. I know the Finches didn't realize they needed a 22 page comic book for the beginning of the DCyou but you had already planned on the price increase so you had to stick these bullshit pages into the back. Fuck you, you monsters! No wait! You aren't monsters. You're just misguided, confused, and self-indulgent.