Robin, Son of Batman #1

Goliath the Werebat is either Bruce Wayne or Alfred's right hand or Tim Drake.

Hopefully Patrick Gleason is a better artist-writer than David Finch and Tony S. Daniel. I'll probably determine that he isn't not out of any objective skill he has but out of my subjective sour, and ever worsening, attitude toward comic books. As art, comic books are the crusty boogers of long grown fifth graders still haunting the underside of elementary school desks. But I'm not sophisticated enough to appreciate art via any other medium because movies are too long, poetry is too individualized, novels have too many fucking words that usually aren't fuck, and television isn't art, according to the Sophomores in my Humanities class in college. I suppose I could get my fix through children's books since everybody at every Portland Wine Tasting always has to mention how their favorite book was always one by Seuss or Sendak or Eastman (probably just to show that they're still full of wonder and childhood goodness and the adult world hasn't crushed their spirit at all although the way they're chugging that fucking wine says otherwise). I also don't go to wine tastings so that last sentence might be bullshit. But I can imagine what it would be like if I went to a wine tasting and in my imagination, it's exactly as I described it!

Okay, so I really don't think comic books are the bottom of the barrel when it comes to art. I think they have an opportunity to tell stories in ways that no other medium is able. So the problem isn't the medium at all; the problem is with the writers and artists within the medium failing to use it to its full advantage. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised when the only comics I'm really reading right now our superhero comics. I have plenty of comic books in trade paperback editions that prove writers and artists know full well how to take advantage of comic books (Chris Ware probably top among them. Get thee to Building Stories or Jimmy Corrigan preposthaste!). But those comic books aren't as fun to comment on as I read them. Those are the kinds of comic books which deserve critical essays written about every aspect of their existence. But those are fucking hard to write, you know?! That's why you won't find me saying anything about them here. But writing about Robin and his gigantic Werebat that makes no goddamned sense at all? Welcome to the funhouse!

And a cowfucker too, unless I'm mistaking the reason for using the word "engorged"!

The Pot calling the Werebat fat is the ruler of Bialya which probably means he's a lover of Black Adam (in the fandom sense, not in the sodomy sense). Robin crashed the Robinwing in this man's country and Goliath fucked this man's cows and now this man wants to make Robin his son. Just to remind everybody what New 52 Damian Wayne comics are all about, a decapitation is depicted seven panels in. Can't have a Damian Wayne comic book without somebody losing their head! Anyway, Robin is going to have to fight the Prince to prove he is worthy to become a prince himself. I think instead of taking this rich guy up on his offer, Damian is just going to beat up a whole mess of people soon. Or very soon. Whichever comes first.

Oh! It was very soon!

Patrick Gleason Artist-Writer Update!
His storytelling is clear and concise. He sets up action so that it makes sense as it takes place. Just in this first meeting, he gives the reader a clear feel for the size of the room, the location of Damian and those within it, and makes sure that the background adds additional information about the owner of the location. I'm only four pages into the comic book so I might be optimistic. Maybe Patrick Gleason spent three weeks doing these four pages and the rest of the comic book is going to be a mess! But after these four pages, I trust that Gleason knows how to write, draw, and pace an intelligible story. That might seem like low hanging fruit but after some of the shit Artist-Writers have published, I'll be ecstatic with simply intelligible!

The story flashes back to Damian back at Wayne Manor. When it takes place is anybody's guess because Damian himself is the cause of much consternation to the continuity purists. Did Batman's search for Damian take place after Batman Eternal and Endgame? If not, where was Damian? How could Batman have searched for Damian after Endgame if he was dead?! Perhaps this will explain how Damian was running around the world on his own during Endgame. Perhaps Gleason won't even deal with it. As for me, I only care up until the end of this paragraph.

Meanwhile in Gotham Harbor, somebody is recovering the mask of Nobody. The mask has file footage on it revealing the identities of Batman and Robin. And the certain somebody recovering the mask is Nobody's daughter, Whats-her-name Ducard.

While Robin is left at home because Batman wanted to patrol on his own, Damian gets a message from somebody that Goliath has escaped so Damian has to sneak out to go take care of his pet Werebat. Apparently he's got an Alfred on Al Ghul Island who takes care of the pets he doesn't have time for just like the Alfred back in Gotham taking care of Alfred II, Titus, and Batcow.

Some consider it a privilege, not a job, to tend to their pet's every need!

Damian has to fetch a whistle on a submarine from the "Year of Blood" which I know nothing about either because it's something new Gleason has come up with or it's something that happened during the years I wasn't reading comic books or it's that thing where Damian killed lots of assassins while Talia trained him that I can barely remember. I've been playing too much Nethack again so I'm totally into this pet/whistle connection thing going on. While Damian is down in the sub, something from behind a sealed door calls out his name. It makes Damian sweat so it must be super scary. Like Japanese Urban Legends scary!

Damian uses the magic whistle to control Goliath and they beat up a few more guards before escaping. But Goliath flies too high so that Damian passes out to have a nice dream with Dick in it. Although it quickly goes from a pleasant dream where Damian is treating Dick like crap to a nightmare where Batman is interrogating Damian about "The Year of Blood."

Damian wakes up screaming the way he never does because it would indicate he isn't in as much control as he wants everybody to believe. He finds he's still on Al Ghul Island because he told Goliath to take him home and that's Goliath's home. It also gives Damian another opportunity to call something stupid. But after his dream, Damian figures he should probably stay on the island until he's dealt with The Year of Blood. So he heads back into the submarine to take a sneak peek at whatever was calling him from behind the door.

Was Damian working for Planetary that year?

On board the submarine are all the trophies Damian kept after concluding every mission during the Year of Blood. One trophy per day. Now Damian wants to begin the Year of Atonement where he redeems himself for every trophy he took during the Year of Blood. So "Robin, Son of Batman" is a bit like the comic book version of "Friday the 13th" the television show. And I bet the final day of Damian's atonement will be when he partakes of a Couples' Skate with Nobody Jr. and then they kiss while sharing some nachos in the snack room. So cute!

Meanwhile in Nanda Parbat, Talia al Ghul climbs out of a crevice where she was dropped way back during Batman's search for Damian's corpse. She confronts a creature called the Lu'un Darga which bears nearly the same symbol as the symbol on the object Damian chose to atone for first. Damian's object was connected to something called "The Guardian" and had six little whisker arrow things pointing up. Lu'un Darga's symbol has six little whisker arrow things pointing down! I bet the Guardian was supposed to have kept Lu'un Darga in its pit but Damian killed the Guardian! Or, you know, something vaguely like that or something.

Robin, Son of Batman #1 Rating: This feels like a near seamless continuation of Batman and Robin because, obviously, the art is exactly the same. But I feel like Gleason and Tomasi must have shared ideas on who Damian is and how he acts. Some might be thinking how wrong can somebody really write the little prick, right? But seriously, I can see Damian Wayne being written horribly. We need to share some kind of compassionate link with him. Early in the comic book when Damian is training alone in the Batcave, he stumbles over Alfred II and falls into a pit. He finds himself lying next to the skeleton of a bat. Now, I'm sure bats die and decay all the time in the cave, and this is probably one of them. But the way Damian looks at it, you can tell he's already realizing how much he has to atone for, even the smallest things he did like killing a bat in the batcave. He'll always have reminders of the person he used to be and he needs to find a way to set that boat sailing away as his father once, I guess, said. And Gleason sets it up nicely to have the daughter of Nobody as Damian's foil for the series. I would probably give this start an A+ if I wasn't such a monstrous asshole. Instead it gets a C- because I have a reputation to uphold!