Detective Comics #12

Shit dude! You don't irradiate Batman! The last thing he needs are super powers! He'll be unstoppable!

Let me begin by saying, Please forgive my for the silliness and jokes of the previous two issues. Batman being nearly killed multiple times is not the time to be telling knock knock jokes and giggling over villain names like Mister Toxic. The tone was whimsical and childish and I'm embarrassed to have taken part in it. That will all change now.

At the end of last issue, Batman was being completely encased in some kind of organism in a chemical mishap in the bat cave.

Yeah, that was a good joke! Batman thought he was....

No! Stop it! The mood is now somber and dramatic! You will not begin with that voice! Batman's safety should be our utmost concern! If he's hurt or killed while we're making light of the situation, we won't be able to live with ourselves!

You can tell Batman is really in trouble because Daniel uses two full pages to show Batman screaming in pain.

While Batman is struggling to set the room on fire, Alfred comes in to help. Alfred says, "Do you want some tea?" Batman says, "Stay back Alfred! But yes, I will have the tea." Alfred says, "Have you discovered anything?" That is Alfred's favorite line to ask Batman. Alfred knows Batman loves to answer the question. Batman likes to show off how smart he is and to show what an amazing detective he can be. Batman says, "What the fuck does it look like, Alfred?!" Alfred plays dumb. Alfred loves to play dumb because Batman likes to look smart. Alfred says, "Has your bubble bath run over, sir?" Batman smirks through the pain. Batman sees what Alfred is doing. Batman is a great detective; he cannot be fooled so easily. Batman begins to explain when Alfred says, "Good work, sir. You knew the organism would also consume the flames and destroy itself?" Batman grimaces. Sometimes Alfred gives himself a back-handed compliment by explaining what Batman did before Batman can explain it just to show Batman that he's really just as smart as Batman. Maybe he's even smarter!

Meanwhile at the Dunhill Laboratories, Mister Toxic is causing more death and destruction.

Of course, you could have used the door.

At the laboratory, everyone is very grim and serious as they get about the business of merging Mister Toxic with gross, corpse-like Hugh Marder. Professor Manhart does not want anybody to die or be sad, so he operates the machine to fuse the Marders. But Batman does not agree with this course of action.

This scene is so dramatic it called for another two page spread.

Batman sets Marder on fire just like Batman did to himself. It stops the reaction and Marder does not become a super beast. He simply remains Mister Toxic. Batman carts him off to Arkham and the comic is over.

No, really. That's how short the main story was. It might have to do with the two giant double page spreads and several single page splashes. This comic is Tony Daniel's version of turning in a term paper double spaced with size 24 font.

The back-up story is about Joker's face being locked away in the evidence vault creeping out the cops. The story ends with the editorial blurb: "The Joker returns in Batman #13". Good! At least Snyder will be handling the Joker's return and not Daniel! Oh, and the rest of the story doesn't matter. About a rookie cop standing up to Bullock and impressing him.

Detective Comics #12 Rating: No change. Absolutely nothing impressive here. Although it was the best comic I read today after reading Green Arrow #12 and G.I. Combat #4. Actually it may have been a tie with G.I. Combat #4.