Blue Beetle #11

Blue and Gold! Together again!

The founder of Superfail.com (a website that doesn't actually exist but is now available for auction at fucking bastard godaddy.com for $10,000), Thaddeus Miller, is a low grade Glorious Godfrey and he's on a media blitz to turn everybody against super heroes, starting with Blue Beetle. But Booster Gold debates this jerk on one of those crappy national morning news shows that actually thinks they're doing some kind of service to mankind. Fuck, the attitude on those "TV personalities." They're worse than reality television celebrities! I have more respect for the assholes on Big Brother than I do for the cast of The Today Show. "Morning News Entertainment." They should all be renamed The Bullshit Show. NBC's Morning Bullshit! Bullshit This Morning with Katie Couric! Weather, Traffic, and Bullshit. CNN should just become 24 Hour Bullshit. And Fox News should be renamed Racist Bullshit for Scared Middle Class White Pricks. And NPR should be renamed Highbrow Bullshit in Quiet, Thoughtful Voices. Local news stations should just be Local Bullshit Interrupting Your Prime Time Television Shows.

Ahem. So, Booster Gold appears on this television show to sell more Booster products defend super heroes.

Booster looks a little derpy here.

Elsewhere in the city, Brenda and Paco are conducting their own search for Jaime. Brenda is super cute and since she's a comic book character and not a real person, I can lust after her even though she's fictionally underage. That isn't weird. I mean, it's probably weird that I'm lusting after a nonexistent, pencil-and-ink character. But no weirder than my mega-crush on Amy Wong of Futurama. Brenda and Paco don't actually know where to begin looking so they head off to meet with Jaime's grandmother. I can't wait to meet this loony bird!

Jaime somehow heard Booster Gold on Morning Bullshit This Morning. He probably saw it on the giant monitor in Time Square and since this is the DC Universe, it was blaring the sound down on all the pedestrians and honking cars. Jaime's going to contact him and they're going to become the bestest friends that ever were!

Does every coffee shop in the DCnU have to be a parody of Starbucks? My favorite so far was Tsarbucks in Little Russia but I forget which comic book that was in.

Booster and Beetle set up a meet later in the day by the Statue of Liberty. It doesn't go as well as Jaime had planned.

No! You're supposed to hug him and tell corny jokes and drink beers and ogle chicks and go super heroing together!

Booster Gold isn't the greatest with history and such, especially without Skeets, but he does know about The Reach and how dangerous they are. So he never meant to mentor Blue Beetle at all. His only goal was to destroy him before he could lead the rest of The Reach to Earth.

While Booster and Beetle exchange blows, Paco and Brenda check out Jaime's grandmother's house. But his grandmother is gone. A fortune teller greets them and lets them know where the cards have said Jaime would be. They learn he should be in Washington Square but before they can figure out where that is, a bunch of agents from the DEO show up and kidnap them. Seems Director Bones has wants Blue Beetle back and Paco's energy signature is nearly identical to Blue Beetle's. That's because Paco has a Reach Healing Cockroach in his system.

Back in Washington Square where Blue and Gold seem to have landed in the middle of their fight, Jaime's grandmother watches the battle take place.

Oh the feels! Stop it!

Jaime's grandmother beats Booster over the head with her walker because she recognizes her grandson. Maybe it was the fortune teller or maybe it was because she overheard him speaking Spanish or maybe she just recognizes her kin, but she saves him. Booster seems to think twice about pursing this and tells Beetle to meet him the next day in Prospect Park and they'll figure out what's going on. An editor's note mentions the meet-up will continue in Justice League International Annual #1! So the JLI has been cancelled but it's still getting an annual? That's good. I wasn't totally ready to stop commenting on how pathetic that super hero group was.

Jaime's grandmother also wants to have a meeting with Blue Beetle so she tells him to meet her at her apartment since she doesn't want to be seen on the streets with him in his armor. All of a sudden, Blue Beetle has lots of places to be! It looks like he's eaten out of his last dumpster. I wonder if he'll meet the Teen Titans soon.

Meanwhile at the Department for Extranormal Affairs, Director Bones orders surgery on Paco to remove the Scarab technology wrapped around his heart. That doesn't go so well.

Yay! It's Blue Beetle's grouchy sidekick, Robin Beetle!

Blue Beetle #11 Rating: No change.