Catwoman #12

Zelda Fitzgerald thought the last line of The Great Gatsby, "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past", should have been, "Fuck it all. Let's party, motherfuckers."

Catwoman's plan to stake out Dollhouse last issue went completely and utterly tits up! That was a pun (utter/udder! Try to follow along!)! Also, it makes you think of Selina's boobs. Detective Alvarez was nabbed by Dollhouse but he left his phone with an App on it tracking a GPS on his person. So Catwoman can follow him to Dollhouse's hideout and maybe save his life and stop Dollhouse. She also has another plan though!

Batman responds quickly to the Pussy Signal.

So Catwoman's plan this month is the same as The Birds of Prey plan this month which was Superman's plan in Action Comics last month: Tell Batman. I'm pretty sure a shit load of other heroes used this same plan but I can't be arsed to think of them all this morning! I mean, seriously, it's probably the best plan in the DC Universe! He's be the first motherfucker I'd call.
By the way, I really like the way Batman looks in that last panel. Why are three unknown cops greeting Batman on the roof? Is Gordon still in the clutches of The Scarecrow? If he is, why isn't Batman still busy trying to rescue him? I wonder if I should keep track of all of the comic books Batman appears in each month. He's busier making appearances than Wolverine over in Marvel.

I haven't been reading any Marvel comics lately. Does Wolverine still guest star in a lot of books to sell more comics each month? Or have they found a new character for that illustrious marketing spot?

Meanwhile, Alvarez is having a discussion with Dollhouse about how CSI: Miami is based on real life and logic instead of formulaic stories and overwritten dialogue. He also seems to already be familiar with Dollhouse's Modus Operandi.

I'm pretty sure he shouldn't know that information. Why does he know that information?! I think he knows her from Dead HookerCon '12.

Catwoman shows up a moment after Alvarez is knocked unconscious again with another tranquilizer dart. Earlier, Catwoman noticed the smell at the scene where Dollhouse left a half dozen tranquilized sex workers. They had all soiled themselves. So I have to assume that Alvarez's pants are a complete mess at this point.

As Catwoman fights to stop Dollhouse, she's thrown into Dollhouse's building and sees all of the real life mannequins Dollhouse has created. She freaks out a tiny bit and wonders aloud what the hell is going on. Guess what? Dollhouse can't help but explain it to her! Good super villain! Good girl!

So Dollhouse is Mathilda who was the Sexy Nurse in the first Detective Comics story arc. I liked her old outfit better!

Selina plays a little cat and mouse with Mathilda to kill time until Batman arrives. He does and Mathilda makes a run for it. Alvarez and Batman save everyone and Catwoman disappears into the night. Batman figures she always gets away (plus he sees the bottom of her boot as she disappears out of a window) but she had been hit by three tranq darts and easily could have died while Batman assumed she got away. Oh, who am I kidding? Batman would have known if she needed his help or not! He's the Goddamned Batman!

There's about a four page epilogue after the Dollhouse caper ends. Gwen (Selina's friend and current fence) tried to get in contact with Selina earlier but Selina was busy chasing after Dollhouse. So Gwen needed to take care of some business herself since she knew Selina was too emotionally invested.

Yes, that's Sparks with his brains falling out. And Gwen with the smoking pistol.

Gwen received a tip (and proof) from The Penguin that Sparks was working with the police. Gwen has taken it upon herself to protect Selina as much as possible. But why would Penguin want to help? Well, a few issues ago during the Night of the Talons, Selina saved The Penguin's life and he mentioned he owed her a favor. I think he's thinking twice about owing Catwoman a favor and is looking for a way out of that deal without completely fucking up his reputation.

Catwoman #12 Rating: +1 Ranking. I'm just glad Sparksies is dead! That guy was a buzzkill.