Stormwatch #15

Dammit. I don't see Dex Starr on the cover! Next month then.

Last issue ended with a visit from a Shadow Lord. The Shadow Lords have decided that Stormwatch is no longer going to be concerned with alien threats. Their new assignment is to control or destroy Earth's super heroes. So I guess in some cases that's still being concerned with alien threats, what with Superman and Martian Manhunter and Blue Beetle and sort-of Green Lantern.

The Shadow Lords are sexist and misinformed. Hal Jordan is gone, idiots. And Wonder Woman should be there instead of Batman.

Harry Tanner might be the best liar across all space and time but his plan still has some pretty major faults. Just as he's trying to get DC to finally pit Apollo against Superman and The Midnighter against Batman, The Projectionist escapes his clutches and calls to Stormwatch to bring her home. And The Midnighter can already tell by The Shadow Lord's body language that it's Harry Tanner. Hey, Harry Tanner! I have some words of wisdom jammed in my head from a young age thanks to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!

"My teacher told me I should never tell a lie.
For a lie will bring you trouble, by and by.
It's an awful thing to do and it's true and true and true
You'll feel bad and then you'll start to cry!
You'll have a horrid painful pounding in your head.
Then you'll feel your face get hot and turn bright red.
Your heart will start to jump
In your throat you'll get a lump
And you'll feel so bad you'd wish that you could lie right down and die!
You're much better off to never tell a lie
Especially to The Midnighter!
So remember never ever tell a lie!"

I always thought it was the Mormons who also taught me to never refer to any of my friends as "Jewish" because that's prejudice. But it turns out that was from The Department of Health, Education and Welfare!

Or maybe it is okay to tell a lie because The Midnighter realizing this Shadow Lord is Harry Tanner and the Projectionist returning to the Eye of the Storm is all part of the plan! That stupid teacher in that commercial was way off base. Lies get things done!

The Projectionist tells everyone that Harry Tanner died when their Antarctic Base exploded. The Engineer won't take her word for it so she engages her brain directly.

It's simply convenient to pretend the brain stores files in MP4 and WAV formats for easy playback.

The faked conversation between Harry and Midnighter makes it seem like Midnighter doesn't really love Apollo and that he's ready to bring the whole team down.

Can I make a comparison between this comic and an earlier issue of Grifter for a moment? This is how you deal with two characters one-upping each other with their powers. The Midnighter is probably the most observant person in the DCnU. He can't be fooled. But Harry Tanner is the greatest liar and manipulator in the DCnU. So Harry works the Midnighter's ability into his lie so that his plan will be successful. Now it's up to Midnighter to somehow convince everyone of the truth. This is a well put together conflict. Back in Grifter, Liefeld simply had Grifter con Helspont and then Helpsont say, "I knew you were going to do that which is why I did this." And then Grifter said, "Yeah, but I knew you were going to do that so that's why I did this!" And then Helspont said, "Yeah but I knew how this whole thing would end so I put together a simulation to make you think it ended the way you wanted it to end but really I won and now I know shit about you that you don't know I know because I'm not really saying this last bit to you." Or something like that. It wasn't well written and thought out. It was just shifting reality back and forth to make it look like two characters were outdoing one another.

Dammit! Why am I still writing about Rob Liefeld's shit?! I'm caught in his trap. I guess if you can't be really good at something, you should always be the absolute worst at it. At least people keep talking about you! I always forget the mediocre writers and artists. I wonder if that was Rob's plan all along? To just be awful at his job but be a really likable guy so he always gets work. Although he might have fucked up that part of his plan by the way he tweeted his way out of the DC Offices.

I guess when you portray yourself as a bad-ass no-holds-barred son of a bitch, people are going to have some trouble believing you. Even the man who supposedly loves your psychopathic ass.

Instead of killing Apollo, Midnighter decides he should probably get away from the situation. He grabs The Projectionist and dives out a teleport door. He grabbed the Projectionist since she's the one with the memories that made him out to be a traitor. Even the Projectionist believes the memories in her mind are real. Although she realizes in a few minutes of conversation with Midnighter that he really is super gay for Apollo. So even she begins to realize her memories aren't quite adding up.

Harry Tanner, Shadow Lord, makes a visit to a science base near where Midnighter and The Projectionist appeared, murders everybody inside, and pins it on The Midnighter. Do the other Shadow Lords just assume this is par for the course for The Fourth Man? Or did Harry do something to them as well? Perhaps they're simply too busy doing nothing in Avalon to care about The Fourth Man and what he's up to. I bet he told them a great big lie to keep them occupied!

I think this means Dex Starr's revenge is going to be delayed at least another month.

Stormwatch #15 Rating: +1 Ranking. Harry Tanner's plan really plays to the weaknesses of nearly every member of Stormwatch. I have a feeling it's going to be up to Jenny Quantum or Jack Hawksmoor to see through the lie and figure it out since Harry didn't really incorporate them into his plan. At least not as far as I can tell. Or not yet. He might have realized that Jenny is closest to Apollo so he wouldn't have to worry about her. But Jack Hawksmoor? He's kind of on the sidelines here. Maybe to figure out the truth, he'll contact the other Shadow Lords. Or Las Vegas. One of those.