This fight is still going on.
If Guy Gardner had left Lobo to do what Lobo was on Earth to do, this whole Despero situation would already be wrapped up. Some readers might think, "No way! Despero is way more powerful than Lobo!" But need I, as an impartial judge, remind those readers that Lobo is the fucking best and can beat the shit out of anybody, no matter what writer thinks differently and then writes a story where Lobo gets his ass beat? That isn't the fault of Lobo, the most powerful and sexiest character in the DC Universe. That's a fault with the writer not understanding just how spectacularly awesome Lobo is. I just can't see the logic of the Justice League members not wanting Lobo's help.
Maybe the way I do logic is faulty because I refuse to see anything from any other point of view than my own. I've been watching Fear the Walking Dead lately and in the second or third season when the father runs out of the Mexican vineyard locale to hunt down his psychopathic son in the middle of the night, the scene cuts to the morning or the next day where, I guess, he's been hunting him for hours. His feet are bloody and raw and it took me forever to figure out what happened. I was like, "Did he run through some glass? Did a land shark attack him? Did a roving gang of torturers grab him for an hour and slice his feet up with razor blades?" Eventually, I, a person who walks everywhere barefoot constantly, realized that was the writer's way of showing that he had run out in the night without his shoes and that's apparently what they think feet end up looking like after walking barefoot for several hours. I assure you it is not. But for whatever reason, the Fear the Walking Dead writers loved this aspect so in another season, a whole bunch of people get their boots taken and wind up with the most bloodied, messed up feet you've ever seen. Maybe in the zombie apocalypse, running around without shoes is tougher on your feet. Maybe I've simply trained my feet to survive the apocalypse better than most people. Like I said, my logic might be due a slight "not everything should be viewed through your own personal experience, asshole" tune-up.
I almost wrote, "Where was I?", but I know where I was: Lobo is the best!
Oh! Should I try to guess what line from Yeats' "Second Coming" Jones will use for the title of this issue where Lobo and Despero beat the space shit out of each other?! Do you think it'll be "The Blood-dimmed Tide"?! That would be cool, right?
Maybe the way I do logic is faulty because I refuse to see anything from any other point of view than my own. I've been watching Fear the Walking Dead lately and in the second or third season when the father runs out of the Mexican vineyard locale to hunt down his psychopathic son in the middle of the night, the scene cuts to the morning or the next day where, I guess, he's been hunting him for hours. His feet are bloody and raw and it took me forever to figure out what happened. I was like, "Did he run through some glass? Did a land shark attack him? Did a roving gang of torturers grab him for an hour and slice his feet up with razor blades?" Eventually, I, a person who walks everywhere barefoot constantly, realized that was the writer's way of showing that he had run out in the night without his shoes and that's apparently what they think feet end up looking like after walking barefoot for several hours. I assure you it is not. But for whatever reason, the Fear the Walking Dead writers loved this aspect so in another season, a whole bunch of people get their boots taken and wind up with the most bloodied, messed up feet you've ever seen. Maybe in the zombie apocalypse, running around without shoes is tougher on your feet. Maybe I've simply trained my feet to survive the apocalypse better than most people. Like I said, my logic might be due a slight "not everything should be viewed through your own personal experience, asshole" tune-up.
I almost wrote, "Where was I?", but I know where I was: Lobo is the best!
Oh! Should I try to guess what line from Yeats' "Second Coming" Jones will use for the title of this issue where Lobo and Despero beat the space shit out of each other?! Do you think it'll be "The Blood-dimmed Tide"?! That would be cool, right?
Fuck it! I take all that shit back about my logic being faulty. I fucking rule!
My mom used to always get mad at me and say, "You always have to be right, don't you?" And since she was talking to an adolescent boy, she was right to take that tone because I was not always right at all! But I was quite adamant in thinking the things I knew were really the way things were. They often were not. Then in my early twenties, I had a girlfriend who once got angry with me after I was proven right about some disagreement we were having and she said, "Why are you always right?" See, she was angry that I actually was right all the time! But the only thing that had changed was that I stopped defending everything and only defended things I was pretty sure were correct. So maybe that made it seem like I was always right? Because I'd learned, after being a stubbornly adamant jerk teenager who was often wrong but wouldn't accept it, to be a lot more fluid about reality. I'd often say things like, "I think this is the case but I definitely wouldn't stake my life on it." But now as an adult, I'm always right because I have my own blog and you can fuck off if you don't like my opinions about how Lobo is the sexiest beast in space and Supergirl has the best bum across DC's infinite universe.
Sheesh, I don't even like myself now! Seriously, I don't fucking care about being right or wrong anymore. I think maybe all those whiny jerks who think kind is better might be correct. I didn't spend all those years reading Kurt Vonnegut and not learn a little something about kindness. I guess.
You all know my bravado is hyperbolic facetiousness filled to the brim with spontaneous whimsy, right? Does that come across in my writing? Because, really, I'm just a quivering blob of insecurity who can barely function in reality let alone on the Internet. My favorite place to be is on the couch with my cat's head on my cheek, both of us halfway adrift in slumber.
Last issue of "Breakdowns" ended with Flash, Booster Gold, and The Conglomerate about to attack Despero in an attempt to save Martian Manhunter. This issue will probably begin with DC having five fewer heroes than it did. That's how many members are in The Conglomerate if you didn't get the joke or couldn't do the math. See, they're basically amateurs and shouldn't be up against Despero. I'm saying they're going to die quickly.
Booster Gold, leader of The Conglomerate, yells, "Conglomerate, take him!" And boy howdy do they go at it terribly.
Sheesh, I don't even like myself now! Seriously, I don't fucking care about being right or wrong anymore. I think maybe all those whiny jerks who think kind is better might be correct. I didn't spend all those years reading Kurt Vonnegut and not learn a little something about kindness. I guess.
You all know my bravado is hyperbolic facetiousness filled to the brim with spontaneous whimsy, right? Does that come across in my writing? Because, really, I'm just a quivering blob of insecurity who can barely function in reality let alone on the Internet. My favorite place to be is on the couch with my cat's head on my cheek, both of us halfway adrift in slumber.
Last issue of "Breakdowns" ended with Flash, Booster Gold, and The Conglomerate about to attack Despero in an attempt to save Martian Manhunter. This issue will probably begin with DC having five fewer heroes than it did. That's how many members are in The Conglomerate if you didn't get the joke or couldn't do the math. See, they're basically amateurs and shouldn't be up against Despero. I'm saying they're going to die quickly.
Booster Gold, leader of The Conglomerate, yells, "Conglomerate, take him!" And boy howdy do they go at it terribly.
Why is Vibe's brother just massaging Despero's butt?
The Conglomerate are so bad at superheroing that even Booster Gold realizes, immediately, that they know fuck all about stopping a threat like Despero. Hopefully Booster Gold's force field has an infinite batterly life so he can simply keep his entire team inside of it for the rest of this issue. Or maybe they'll get lucky and Despero won't kill them because he doesn't hate them. Apparently he really only has hate for the Justice League and that's why he's on Earth. Because his hate must be expressed through an annoyingly long vocalizing process where he does nothing and finally, hopefully, ending with extreme violence.
Blue Beetle flies Kilowog, wielding a pocket-sized L'ron remote control to shut down Despero, into battle. What he does not do is get on the communicator to let everybody know there's a new plan that doesn't involve getting your skull crushed by Despero. Although the old plan of letting Lobo crush Despero's skull still seems like a good one! Hopefully the writers will eventually show why that's such a bad idea. Like maybe have a baby crushed in the fight which should make me change my tune and start screaming, "No! They should never have let the fight between Lobo and Despero get out of control!", but will actually just have me shrugging my shoulders and thinking, "Big deal. One baby. So what."
Blue Beetle flies Kilowog, wielding a pocket-sized L'ron remote control to shut down Despero, into battle. What he does not do is get on the communicator to let everybody know there's a new plan that doesn't involve getting your skull crushed by Despero. Although the old plan of letting Lobo crush Despero's skull still seems like a good one! Hopefully the writers will eventually show why that's such a bad idea. Like maybe have a baby crushed in the fight which should make me change my tune and start screaming, "No! They should never have let the fight between Lobo and Despero get out of control!", but will actually just have me shrugging my shoulders and thinking, "Big deal. One baby. So what."
Judas Priest! We get it! You hate. YOU HATE!
Groot in The Guardians of the Galaxy movies has a larger vocabulary than Despero.
Blue Beetle lands enabling Kilowog to sprint into battle to save the day. He's surprisingly chummy with Lobo.
Blue Beetle lands enabling Kilowog to sprint into battle to save the day. He's surprisingly chummy with Lobo.
Why do I suddenly like and respect Kilowog even more than usual?
What story did I miss where Kilowog and Lobo became mates? I never read much Green Lantern at the time so unless I happened to see Lobo on a Green Lantern cover, I completely would have missed any issue with Lobo as a guest star. The above panel makes it feel like they were once college roommates who haven't seen each other for fifteen years.
Kilowog's device doesn't work exactly as intended. Instead of shutting Despero down, it replaces Despero's mind with L'ron's. L'ron now controls Despero's body and Despero's hate has simply dissipated among the residents of New York. So unnoticeable, basically. Manga Khan, watching from orbit, quickly teleports to Earth to take possession of his new L'ron-Despero unit, pay Lobo, and promise to Venmo some cash to help rebuild New York City. So all's well that end's well! At least with the minor Despero vs Lobo problem that had cropped up in the middle of the "What's going on with Max Lord?" plot line. It's all wrapped up nicely and not a single member of The Conglomerate was killed (which is disappointing). At least I got to gaze upon multiple panels of Lobo flexing his muscles and looking aggravated and enraged.
Speaking of Max Lord, he's now Dreamslayer and he's proper angry that Lord Havok was destroyed. His Extremists are well and truly dead so he needs a new army. Using his power (and probably a bit of Max's), Dreamslayer commands the natives of Kooey Kooey Kooey Island to destroy the Justice League. Not that he wants them to sail out and find them! Dreamslayer expects the League to figure out he and Max are behind Lord Havok's attack. When they do, they'll attack him on the island and fall right into his trap. Mostly because J'onn has really shown he's a terrible leader that nobody listens to. I guess Dreamslayer gets to be the final ultimate threat because there are only three issues left of "Breakdowns."
Justice League Europe #34 Rating: A+. The Justice League have now battled all of their major foes since this whole Justice League International began: the United Nations, Bialya, Queen Bee, The Global Guardians, Despero, Lobo, and Lord Havok. I think the only still living villains who they haven't had to face during this story arc (who can be categorized as villains and not reporters or cats or incompetent buffoons) are Starro and Simon Stagg. I guess they still have three issues to make an appearance!
Kilowog's device doesn't work exactly as intended. Instead of shutting Despero down, it replaces Despero's mind with L'ron's. L'ron now controls Despero's body and Despero's hate has simply dissipated among the residents of New York. So unnoticeable, basically. Manga Khan, watching from orbit, quickly teleports to Earth to take possession of his new L'ron-Despero unit, pay Lobo, and promise to Venmo some cash to help rebuild New York City. So all's well that end's well! At least with the minor Despero vs Lobo problem that had cropped up in the middle of the "What's going on with Max Lord?" plot line. It's all wrapped up nicely and not a single member of The Conglomerate was killed (which is disappointing). At least I got to gaze upon multiple panels of Lobo flexing his muscles and looking aggravated and enraged.
Speaking of Max Lord, he's now Dreamslayer and he's proper angry that Lord Havok was destroyed. His Extremists are well and truly dead so he needs a new army. Using his power (and probably a bit of Max's), Dreamslayer commands the natives of Kooey Kooey Kooey Island to destroy the Justice League. Not that he wants them to sail out and find them! Dreamslayer expects the League to figure out he and Max are behind Lord Havok's attack. When they do, they'll attack him on the island and fall right into his trap. Mostly because J'onn has really shown he's a terrible leader that nobody listens to. I guess Dreamslayer gets to be the final ultimate threat because there are only three issues left of "Breakdowns."
Justice League Europe #34 Rating: A+. The Justice League have now battled all of their major foes since this whole Justice League International began: the United Nations, Bialya, Queen Bee, The Global Guardians, Despero, Lobo, and Lord Havok. I think the only still living villains who they haven't had to face during this story arc (who can be categorized as villains and not reporters or cats or incompetent buffoons) are Starro and Simon Stagg. I guess they still have three issues to make an appearance!
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