Sunday, August 21, 2016

New Titans #93 (December 1992)



I’m not sure why this is the final issue of “Titans $ell-out” because nothing is really resolved. The Titans are getting royalty checks and fan mail and have just moved on with their lives. Leonid is about to take Cyborg back to Russia to finally get him that exciting personality he’s been missing for so long (spoiler alert: he has yet to find one) but that’s about all that happens, plotwise. The main point of this issue is the Starfire centerfold inserted into it for all the young males and lesbians to jerk off to. But it was really Mirage, so don’t think Starfire has become a total cumdumpster just yet! That doesn’t happen until The New 52's Red Hood and the Outlaws #1. Not that being a cumdumpster is a bad thing! I’m not judging! How can I judge when I’m a filler of cumdumpsters? One could do worse than be a filler of cumdumpsters! That’s Frost again!

Judging by the amount of boners Changeling pops in this issue, Mirage as Starfire poses for some pretty nasty pictures in this magazine. I should probably post the centerfold, right? For, you know, feminist research purposes!


Why doesn't she have super long pubes?

Also in this issue: another terrible Teeny Titans cartoon.

I feel like this is the first issue Jon Peterson was definitely sacked from and Marv Wolfman was allowed to take control again. Mostly because we’re headed back into Marv Wolfman territory. He’s planning on reestablishing Cyborg as a character instead of a leashed, non-threatening, defanged . . . um, I don’t like where this is going. Plus Phantasm winds up back in Azaroth where he’s destroyed by some creature with whom he’s familiar. So whoever that is, it’s definitely going to be a character Marv Wolfman thought was taken away from him by editorial and he wants that character back. So it’s probably Joseph but I suppose it could be the person the comic book wants you to think it is: Trigon! Or maybe Raven housing Trigon’s soul and sucking on Joseph Wilson’s, um, sideburns?

Maybe this whole batch of “sell-out” themed issues was just Marv Wolfman’s reaction to Jon Peterson’s attempt to simply turn DC’s Teen Titans into an clone of the X-men? So he concocted this whole Sell-out thing as a fuck you to Peterson on his way out. “Thanks for fucking up my comic book, asshole! Now I’m going to make Changeling call a couple of women ‘sloppy seconds’! Try and stop me now, asshole!”


I embrace my vulgar, low brow humor and even I wouldn't call a woman "sloppy seconds." Cumdumpster, sure! But sloppy seconds? So uncouth!

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