Earth 2 #6

Is this a Rotworld crossover?

Last issue, DC was about to be nuked by the so-called Good Guys to destroy the Grundy threat. That seems like a pretty good plan since Grundy just used The Atom's atomic energy to accelerate the decay of the Earth. Oh wait! That makes it seem like a really bad plan. Meanwhile Alan Scott has meditated his way into The Gray to find out how to stop Grundy. If The Avengers movie was released on Earth 2 then maybe Alan Scott will realize he can send the nuke headed toward DC into The Grey and then they can go out for Shawarma. Or as Americans call it "Arby's."

Mr. 8, Terry Sloan, purports to be the smartest man in the world. His decision to feed Grundy more nuclear energy reveals that he's just an idiot with a great public relations campaign. If he actually was the smartest man on Earth 2, he'd come up with a plan other than "wipe out everything with a nuclear missile." That's the kind of answer that unimaginative, unthinking war mongers would come up with because they grew up believing that a fist to the face of your opponent was somehow a winning debate technique. Not that this is the time to debate Grundy! Although the Earth 2 Grundy does seem to have a better grasp on the English language than his Super Friends counterpart, so maybe it would work!

Now I sound like that idiot kid Noah in Action Comics #14 who eventually had his face melted off. Oops! Sorry for the spoiler! That isn't much of a spoiler anyway. And maybe Superman can still save all the people with their faces melted off. Maybe he can fly around Mars really, really fast and reverse time like in Superman the Movie. Or go back in time. Whatever he did so that Lois didn't choke on a mouthful of dirt.

As the time for nuclear annihilation ticks down, the "wonders" begin to fall. Without the Green's Guardian to combat The Grey's Guardian, the "wonders" simply fall one by one to Grundy's Hentai tentacles.

That's just the Green Guardian's body. His spirit is off diddling his dead fiance.

Alan Scott spends way too much time in the arms of his dead, fake, fungus lover deep within The Gray. Does this mean he's going to come out of The Grey and five years will have passed by on Earth 2? Since it's just his spirit that went deep, deep inside his enemy's secret place, I don't think the time dilation effects will kick in. And I think spending that time inside Grundy's Grey Area was the plan all along. He just needed enough time before The Gray itself, like any good villain, revealed the way to stop its plans.

All The Grey did was try to trick Alan Scott with his former lover? Oh! So Alan Scott will have to trick Grundy with his former lover! Um. Ewww. I don't think I want to see that.

Alan Scott returns to his body, grabs Grundy, and flies him high up into Earth's atmosphere. He tells Grundy that he knows how to defeat him and begins putting "Grundy's Lover" plan into action.

Oh man. I really, really don't think I want to see this!

I'm not going to paint a word picture of what Alan Scott does with those missiles he plucked out of the air before they could hit DC. I'm not going to use the word "orifice" or "suppository" or "atomic anal rape." Mostly because none of those apply. Alan Scott throws the missiles into deep space and exiles Grundy to the moon. So I guess "the plan" The Gray revealed to Alan Scott was one of omission and not one of love. Don't try to defeat your opponent. Instead, remove him from the field of battle. That makes more sense than the sexy one I came up with.

Alan Scott also learns that he loses his powers the further he gets away from the Earth. The Earth is his Power Battery. But he doesn't need to recharge. He just needs to keep the cord plugged in. As long as he remains near Earth, he's all-powerful. And that's why when Hawkgirl and The Flash try to set up some sort of "society of justice" with him, he declines. Because their powers are stupid! But then this title isn't called The Justice Society, is it? It's simply Earth 2. At first I figured, "Oh, Scott will come around after a few more story arcs." But really, why should he? Simply because the fans are expecting The Justice Society? Maybe that can happen around issue #75. But for now, I like this set-up. Various members of the original Society are spread out doing their own things across Earth. Atom and Sandman are military men. Hawkgirl is on the run with The Flash. Green Lantern is the protector of the Earth. Wildcat is still boxing. And Mister Terrific is still tied up in Terry Sloan's attic somewhere. Where? Find out next issue!

Earth 2 Rating: +2 Ranking. I'm giving it a bump of two ranks simply because it's a far better comic book than a ranking of 29 would suggest. Although that might be a good thing. A quick glance at the ranks and moving this up two forces down other comics seemingly ranked too low as well. And looking up the ranks, I don't see much I'd really change. Which means at least 29 of The New 52 seem to be worth reading. Possibly more but even 29 is far more than I would have guessed, especially since G.I. Combat is next up. Get ready for the martial arts shenanigans of The Haunted Tank!