He's leading them to Trump, isn't he?
It's not just the phrase "The Great Disaster" that makes me think Kamandi is taking the Justice League to Trump. It's all the other clues as well: the sad Lady Liberty, Batman's tense body language, the Year of the Villain header, Wonder Woman's dry vagina.
Kamandi reminds me of my summers as a shirtless youth in cutoff jeans quickly making friends with adults and rowing out to sea with them. Oh, the good old days when other people wouldn't tell you you'd been molested when you were bragging about your early sexual experiences!
I'm having trouble following this Justice League Year of the Villain nonsense and I hope it's just because I'm taking such long intervals between reading each issue and not because I'm developing dementia. That's not a joke reducing dementia to a punchline. It's an actual concern I have and you thinking I'm joking about it is an awful way to react. So now my feelings are hurt for as long as I can remember they are. Good job, jerko.
I think various members of the Justice League have all traveled to different points in time so they can fix the world or something. But unbeknownst to them, Aquaman rushed through the time door first and altered time before they could alter time! Which means the Justice League can't alter time before Aquaman alters time because Snyder doesn't understand time travel. Okay, fine, I'm sure he understands it. But he's hoping, for the sake of his story, that us stupid fucking DC readers don't understand it. "Oh well! Aquaman got there first and there are no take-backsies in time travel! You can't alter time more than once or time travel to stop the bad time traveler from time traveling. That's just silly and goes against all science!"
Weird that the big three hitters were all sent on the same mission, right? Who sends Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman on the same mission when that means you're leaving Green Arrow, Hawkman, The Atom, and Marvin and Wendy to fill out the rest of the teams! Notice I left off Green Lantern and Flash because — let's face it — if it weren't a popularity contest, Flash and Green Lantern would be seen as the most powerful members of the group.
Kamandi reminds me of my summers as a shirtless youth in cutoff jeans quickly making friends with adults and rowing out to sea with them. Oh, the good old days when other people wouldn't tell you you'd been molested when you were bragging about your early sexual experiences!
I'm having trouble following this Justice League Year of the Villain nonsense and I hope it's just because I'm taking such long intervals between reading each issue and not because I'm developing dementia. That's not a joke reducing dementia to a punchline. It's an actual concern I have and you thinking I'm joking about it is an awful way to react. So now my feelings are hurt for as long as I can remember they are. Good job, jerko.
I think various members of the Justice League have all traveled to different points in time so they can fix the world or something. But unbeknownst to them, Aquaman rushed through the time door first and altered time before they could alter time! Which means the Justice League can't alter time before Aquaman alters time because Snyder doesn't understand time travel. Okay, fine, I'm sure he understands it. But he's hoping, for the sake of his story, that us stupid fucking DC readers don't understand it. "Oh well! Aquaman got there first and there are no take-backsies in time travel! You can't alter time more than once or time travel to stop the bad time traveler from time traveling. That's just silly and goes against all science!"
Weird that the big three hitters were all sent on the same mission, right? Who sends Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman on the same mission when that means you're leaving Green Arrow, Hawkman, The Atom, and Marvin and Wendy to fill out the rest of the teams! Notice I left off Green Lantern and Flash because — let's face it — if it weren't a popularity contest, Flash and Green Lantern would be seen as the most powerful members of the group.
If I'm ever time traveling with friends and somebody corrects me when I say, "Where are we?", by saying, "Don't you mean, 'When are we?'", I will fucking murder them.
Sometimes you read something by a writer and it just makes you think, "How much do they actually read?" I get that Snyder is a writer and not a reader but I really expect him to keep from writing stupid fucking shit lines from a time traveler like "When are we?" The argument could be made that, as much as I hate when somebody says that in a time travel movie, Snyder is just fucking tickled pink and couldn't wait to use that line in one of his own stories. But it would be a terrible argument and I would despise whoever made it.
This confirms one of two things: this isn't the real Lex Luthor who would never rely on something as ephemeral and unsure as faith or Scott Snyder seriously fucked this shit up.
Fuck faith and fuck everybody who thinks faith is a virtue. Also fuck everybody who is now desperate to explain to me how we all rely on faith to a certain extent, even with scientific data and theories. We need a new word for evidence-based faith. Maybe one exists and I'm too stupid to know what it is. But if somebody says I'm experiencing faith when I expect the sun to rise every morning, I simply assume they don't really understand faith. Or science. Or evidence, even. I'm also not saying don't have faith if you want to! But I am saying, "Fuck you if you expect me to think you're more virtuous because you have faith." Just believing in something you can't know is true because you desperately want it to be doesn't make you somehow stronger than other people. It makes you sad and desperate and willing to believe any fucking lie that comes along as long as it's something you want to believe.
Oh, maybe the evidence-based faith word is expectation? I expect certain things to happen based on past experience and current mathematical and scientific understandings of the reality we perceive!
I suppose the closest I get to faith is believing that I'm going to be alive tomorrow and then the next day and then the day after that. But I'm also prepared for a really hearty shrug of my shoulders when the plane I'm in suddenly begins its terminal nosedive. So, again, it's probably just more of an expectation.
Back in the 1940s, John Stewart and Barry Allen fight side-by-side with the Justice Society, a group of superheroes that everybody only recently learned existed. Who are these mysterious heroes? Why are so many of them blatant rip-offs of DC's other characters?! How many people almost thought, for half a second, that I really didn't know who they were?!
In the future, the Justice League and Justice Legion A battle the greatest version of Brainiac ever devised!
Oh, maybe the evidence-based faith word is expectation? I expect certain things to happen based on past experience and current mathematical and scientific understandings of the reality we perceive!
I suppose the closest I get to faith is believing that I'm going to be alive tomorrow and then the next day and then the day after that. But I'm also prepared for a really hearty shrug of my shoulders when the plane I'm in suddenly begins its terminal nosedive. So, again, it's probably just more of an expectation.
Back in the 1940s, John Stewart and Barry Allen fight side-by-side with the Justice Society, a group of superheroes that everybody only recently learned existed. Who are these mysterious heroes? Why are so many of them blatant rip-offs of DC's other characters?! How many people almost thought, for half a second, that I really didn't know who they were?!
In the future, the Justice League and Justice Legion A battle the greatest version of Brainiac ever devised!
This issue is so crazy that this isn't the final page revelation!
I'm sure Snyder's initial pitch was for the Justice League to battle Brainiac Infinity but editorial told him he had to leave some room for future Brainiac-based disasters. I bet if Scott Lobdell had written this, the Justice League would be battling Brainiac Omnillion.
I stood up and cheered.
No matter how many times I've said in this blog that I stood up and cheered, I never actually stood up and cheered. I just need everybody to know my commitment to not actually getting out of a chair.
Back at Pearl Harbor, two Justice Leagues can't defeat the Legion of Doom so Aquaman arrives to save the day by defeating the Legion of Doom with a giant octopus and, I mean, my suspension of disbelief is really fucking being strained today. So apparently he wasn't a traitor. He just made a friend who sent him back in time to help the Justice League save the omniunimultiverse. The secret to saving everything is in Atlantis!
Notice the Justice Society never had a useless underwater hero. That's why they were the superior team.
The big surprise ending was not the revelation of Brainiac One Million nor the revelation that Aquaman was alive and also saving the day unbelievably. The real big issue ending revelation was that the Anti-Monitor has decided to join the Justice League to defeat his mother and the Legion of Doom! Although is it really that surprising that somebody chose to side against their mother? Or is that just me?
Justice League #32 Rating: B+. Fine, I'm enjoying this disaster! In historic comic book terms, it's not a disaster at all. It's a fucking ginormous super event! It's the Year of the Villain, snitches! Snyder has taken the concept of The Legion of Doom, which we all fucking love to death (don't fucking deny it, asshole!), and shot it up with steroids and Special K! This comic book makes me want to do five different types of drugs at once and fuck a dolphin. Damn, that should be the blurb on the eventual collected edition of this story!
Back at Pearl Harbor, two Justice Leagues can't defeat the Legion of Doom so Aquaman arrives to save the day by defeating the Legion of Doom with a giant octopus and, I mean, my suspension of disbelief is really fucking being strained today. So apparently he wasn't a traitor. He just made a friend who sent him back in time to help the Justice League save the omniunimultiverse. The secret to saving everything is in Atlantis!
Notice the Justice Society never had a useless underwater hero. That's why they were the superior team.
The big surprise ending was not the revelation of Brainiac One Million nor the revelation that Aquaman was alive and also saving the day unbelievably. The real big issue ending revelation was that the Anti-Monitor has decided to join the Justice League to defeat his mother and the Legion of Doom! Although is it really that surprising that somebody chose to side against their mother? Or is that just me?
Justice League #32 Rating: B+. Fine, I'm enjoying this disaster! In historic comic book terms, it's not a disaster at all. It's a fucking ginormous super event! It's the Year of the Villain, snitches! Snyder has taken the concept of The Legion of Doom, which we all fucking love to death (don't fucking deny it, asshole!), and shot it up with steroids and Special K! This comic book makes me want to do five different types of drugs at once and fuck a dolphin. Damn, that should be the blurb on the eventual collected edition of this story!
No comments:
Post a Comment