New Suicide Squad #13

Get out of here! A mummy with a gun! That's almost as ridiculous as the zombie with a gun in Day of the Dead!

This issue begins with Deadshot and Boomer trying to set up a drug exporting connection in Rio de Janeiro. It falls apart because this comic book is about exciting and dramatic violence and not about handshakes and complimentary words. The drugs they were trying to buy are those drugs that give people random super powers. Some kids in an issue of Teen Titans took some a while back. I don't see the appeal of taking a drug that gives you a random super power. What if you took it and suddenly you had stretching powers? Then you'd be embarrassed and depressed all night! Unless you had a penis and were around a lot of people who couldn't wait to put a stretchy penis into one of their various orifices. I've never tried most drugs because they've never interested me. But I knew from a fairly early age that I wanted to try LSD and mushrooms. The idea of hallucinating appealed greatly to me. I eventually discovered the hallucinations were nothing like I thought they were going to be. I was hoping to see dragons flying in the sky and people melting into puddles of goo. But I wasn't disappointed! The hallucinations were far better than I even imagined! Never would I have thought that you could reach a place of complete ego loss, a place where you completely believed the person you thought you were was a story fabricated in the mind of the person you really were. I also never realized how often I would stand at urinals in clubs because I felt like I had to pee and then it just felt nice standing there staring at the tile with my penis out until one of my friends came in to fetch me.

Luckily for Lawton and Harkness, Parasite made the trip too. He absorbs all the bullets in the ensuing gun battle. Harley Quinn is also there because she brings in the money for DC.

Oh yeah. I forgot Amanda has now been forced to go on the away missions. You'd think they wouldn't want to waste an asset like Waller on missions that are meant to kill the team.

A bunch of goons on the random super power drug show up to save the day. I mean save the day for the drug dealers who were just trying to make a living. The Suicide Squad are definitely the jerks in this situation.

Speaking of drugs, Deadshot is still popping pills like crazy due to the pain in his arm and the addictive nature of the pills he was given. Now that Amanda is on the team, she catches Floyd guzzling pills. Intervention time! I hope they invite King Shark.

Parasite blows up the club because he took too many drugs via draining the powers of the drug-addled goons. Then the probably corrupt Brazilian police show up to increase the excitement and dramatic violence!

While the Squad tries to lie low as a riot breaks out, Amanda discovers that the Brazilian SWAT van was made by the Pearl Group. That's a clue to prove that Vic Sage is a jerk!

Harley Quinn hasn't said a word so she might just be some kind of robot. The real Harley is probably spying on Vic Sage back at Belle Reve.

Oh, I guess she's okay.

Amanda learns that Pearl and the company making the weapons they use and the company making the drugs Lawton is guzzling are all subsidiaries of Corvus Corp. That's the company that was trying to get the Lazarus Pit up and running in the Middle East. That's the company that Sage is working for. That's the company that needs to be shut down before they repeat the mistake of giving the Suicide Squad access to resurrection.

Amanda contacts Bonnie and tells her she's going to be out of communication for awhile. Vic Sage learns about Waller going rogue and doesn't like that idea at all so he pushes the button to blow the heads off of all the other Squad members. As if Amanda hadn't disarmed her team's neck bombs during the fifteen minutes it took Bonnie to find Sage. By the way, Bonnie is a total spy! I hope she's working for Checkmate.

New Suicide Squad #13 Rating: No change. More happened in this issue than it felt like with the weak framing story and the reminders of what's going on with all the team members. The mission didn't matter at all this issue (which Ryan acknowledges at the end with Amanda putting a bullet through the target's head while being more interested in contacting Bonnie over the phone). Amanda putting together the clues to Sage's betrayal was the main thrust of the story. The other characters mostly just reminded the reader where their heads were at. Lawton can't aim due to the drugs and pain in his arm. Harley is kind of fucked up over her violent behavior. Digger is...well, I guess Digger is the same old guy. And Parasite can be forgotten about like usual. The overall feeling I was left with was that this issue was more recap than new story. I did learn this issue that I hope Bonnie and Amanda wind up as a couple.