Green Arrow #42

Four years ago, Eric Sokolowski left a four star Google review for the Austin A Bell apartments in Seattle. But he didn't add any comments, darn it.

I should leave Google Reviews for places I love but I can't find any entries for my bathroom, bedroom, backyard, or living room! Five stars for all of them! Only two if I'm not there though. Except the bathroom which should probably receive like twenty when I'm not present.

Currently in Seattle, The Wart Lady is ranting and raving about the "Night Birds." Some poor kid whose mother dragged her over to listen becomes completely freaked out and her mother is all, "Oh, sorry, honey! I thought this would be a lot more like that scene in Mary Poppins!" Although that scene wasn't exactly fright-free either! Didn't The Bird Lady consume Michael's soul which is why they all had to venture into the chalkboard world to challenge the demons to a dance-off?

Anyway, a dead guy covered in bleach falls out of the sky and the little girl learns that maybe she should always listen to crazy people. It's probably a good lesson to learn. They see stuff better than the rest of us! I mean, they must because no matter how hard I focus, I can't see the Hollow Eyed Men that the bearded guy on the corner insists are all over the place.

Hey! Don't knock the yoga pants!

Riots are breaking out because the Seattle Police don't care about the black neighborhoods. I think most of them don't even know there are any black neighborhoods. I live in a black neighborhood in Portland! I mean, there's one black woman that lives on my street! That's a high density African American population for Portland! Although there are at least four breakfast places within a five minute walk from my place which proves I'm in total Whitesville, land of the lattes and the yoga pants and the Waffle Window to boot.

Anyway, since the Seattle Police aren't doing their job, the Evil Corporation which the Night Bird works as a chauffeur for has designed a flying Robosquid to patrol the black neighborhood.

Um. This seems like a really bad idea. I don't think that robot has the proper attitude.

I haven't commented on the confederate flag nonsense pervading the "media" outlets lately because I don't normally comment on idiotic bullshit. The news should spend three seconds on the story and move on and it should go like this: "Ignorant assholes refuse to stop being ignorant assholes. Coming up next: a kitten riding a pig!" I mean, sure, the issue is a pretty big deal but our national media doesn't know how to report on big deals. They just take a microphone and stick it in the face of some guy wearing a confederate flag and ask, "What do you think? Should the flag be removed from the capital building?" Then they'll find a black person to respond to the same question and when the two replies are at opposite ends of the spectrum, the reporter will shrug her shoulders and go, "Well, passions are divided here! Who's right? I don't know! Back to the studio!" Then the studio idiots will watch a YouTube video of a kitten riding a pig while saying inane shit like, "Watch this part here!" and "Oh my God! How adorable!"

I suppose I should try to look at the confederate flag situation from the point of view of people who need this symbol in their lives. I mean, I guess if I grew up on a farm without electricity for twenty years and the only way we could find the outhouse at night was to set alight the Cross-Torch, I might rankle at the idea that the neighborhood association would think the burning cross on my lawn was a racist symbol. I'd be all, "How am I going to find my way to the outhouse without the Cross-Torch?! It's simply for utilitarian purposes!" And they'd be all, "No! Bad!" Then they'd wag their fingers at me for awhile and I'd be all, "You don't have a problem with my Hummingbird Feeder Noose, do you?" Then hopefully they'd explain it to me and show me the history of racism in the south and explain how all of these things are just making everybody really uncomfortable because they're infused with racial hatred. And I'd be all, "What if I just bought a lantern and a normal hummingbird feeder then?" And they'd be all, "That would be great!"

Well, now that I've seen it from the other side, maybe they have a point! This confederate flag must be needed to, um, guide planes or keep coyotes away or something, right? We should ask these people what the flag is used for and then have them replace it with something that is not this flag but which does the same thing! I mean, unless what the flag is used for is to intimidate African Americans. Then maybe we should just put it away and not replace it with anything at all.

I still think the Duke Boys should be allowed to keep it on the top of the General Lee though. I mean, it was right there in the theme song that they were never meaning no harm! Although they were in trouble with the law since the day they were born and that was never really explained, was it? And, come to think of it, I don't think I ever saw any black people in Hazzard County. Could it be Boss Hogg was the good guy trying to run the Duke "Klan" out of town?

Yeah, I bet I know how many lines of code that took.
"10 Input 'Is the person white?'
20 If Yes then Move On
30 If No then Attack."

Why does this comic book have to be about race?! I'm too facetious in my rambling to not get in trouble at least four or five times by the stupid shit I type! I've probably already hit that limit and I'm only a few pages into the book!

A black cop steps up and is all, "Um. No?" But that's as much as he cares to add to the debate because the thing's tentacles begin going for him. It doesn't attack him though because I'm sure it has a few subroutines that keep it from killing police officers no matter what shade their skin is. You know, as long as they're in uniform. It isn't omnipotent!

The first victim of the Panopticon is white so I guess it was probably programmed to not be too obvious about its racism the first day on the job. It tears off the arm of a woman who stole a hamburger. So it's a success!

Emiko tells a boring story about why the machine is called a Panopticon. It's not unrealistic that she knew what a panopticon was. What was unrealistic was that, when Ollie pointed out he didn't know what it meant, she didn't sarcastically say, "Let me Google that for you." She also tells Oliver that his company is funding the Robotic Monster for the Seattle Police Department. Since Oliver doesn't know what legal channels to go through to stop the funding and shut down the program (and his partner is no help because his partner probably wants him to fail just like every single partner he's had since this comic book began), Green Arrow chooses to go smash up the factory where the robots are built.

While Albino Night Bird, Eater of Black Men, brings an army of Panopticons to Pennytown to break up the protest, Albino Night Bird's boss (Aaron Zimm!) waits inside a Panopticon to ambush Oliver Queen as he arrives at the empty factory.

Wait wait wait! This story was just told in this comic book when Ollie battled that Mr. King guy! And the story was already told twice on Arrow in both Season One and Season Two! Why is everybody battling to be the person in charge of keeping the city safe?!

Meanwhile, Arrow Dog realizes something is wrong and begins howling its fool head off! I wonder if Panopticons deal with noise complaints?

Green Arrow #42 Rating: -1 Ranking. If you feel like you haven't read the story where some rich bastard tries to manipulate the city into giving them power over the city so they can rule it with an iron fist and keep it "safe" while Green Arrow battles them because he's really the only person who is keeping the city safe in the right way, then you should be reading this comic book! Redundancy is fun!