The Fury of Firestorm #14

Well get on with it then!

Last issue, Dan Jurgens introduced some secret characters to entice people to pick up the next issue and see what was going on. Except I know better! He was trying to keep Dr. Megala and Captain Atom's participation in this comic book secret for as long as possible so that people wouldn't instantly drop the book. Although I like to think comic book readers are smarter than that. It's not like J.T. Krul is coming on board! Just the character he tried to ruin.

When Captain Atom returns, will we have a love triangle?

At the end of last issue, Firestorm was crushed under a ton of machinery. But you can't keep a good nuclear man down! He returns to handily defeat Relay, Black Star, and Skull Crusher. Or if he can't defeat them, at least humiliate them until they turn cute fuzzy tails and run.

I'm pretty sure "FSASH!" is the sound effect for homosexual sex. Interesting note: "FSASH!" is also the sound effect for heterosexual sex!

While Ronnie Raymond easily counters all the attacks launched against him, he has a casual conversation with Jason Ruach's disembodied head. This conversation leads me to finally have a favorite half of the Firestorm couple.

Ha ha! Leave it to a dog person to basically say dog people are stupid!

Firestorm eventually flees and heads home, leaving the super villains to continue raiding STAR Labs like Ronnie and Jason believed they were doing. What a crappy super hero! Meanwhile Captain Atom looks on from the moon where he fled from everything. What a crappier super hero! The only person accomplishing anything is Dr. Megala! Since he's lost Captain Atom, he's getting closer and closer to finding Ronnie and Jason and then controlling Firestorm.

Smartest man in the DCnU and he's working on perfecting Gaydar.

The next day there's a little drama at high school but it isn't exciting at all. It's supposed to be the best part of this comic book and nothing much happens. Although Jason does find out that his dad is dating Ronnie's mom!

Nope! Guess again!

Dr. Megala, armed with all of the data he's collected with his robot Dataxen and his fancy quantum gaydar, sets up a trap to capture Firestorm. It works just as easily as you would expect when the smartest guy in the world matches wits with two high school guys. Dr. Megala traps Firestorm and transfers his consciousness into Firestorm's body! I don't know if that means there are now three consciousnesses inside of Firestorm or if Ronnie or Jason or both were transferred into the body of the old man. And what happens when Dr. Megala doesn't want to be Firestorm anymore? Does he just end up in the body of Jason and/or Ronnie? If it's "and", how the hell will that work?!

I think it's about time Captain Atom showed up to save the fucking day. Which he, you know, does. Super.

Shouldn't that be, "I'm here to help. Unless maybe it isn't my place to help? Would helping actually end up harming? Who am I to play god? Perhaps I should let man make his own way? Maybe I should just spend 12 issues paralyzed by my fear and doubts? You know, if that's okay with you? Maybe I should just get back to the moon. Sorry!"

The Fury of Firestorm: The Nuclear Men #14 Rating: No change. Better than the comic was with all of the crazy national Firestorms but not enough focus on Ronnie and Jason's relationship!