Nightwing #12

I just can't believe that in Gotham City, this moment won't end with Paragon getting some other Bat-person's aboriginal weapon to the face.

Dick Grayson has been having problems. He wants to build an amusement park in Gotham City but the bank won't lend him any money because he's too big a risk. I don't know why Dick Grayson is a risk. Possibly because he owns Hady's Circus and it just recently exploded into flames and then fell into a sinkhole at its big Grayson Family Celebratory Event. That would probably make money lenders hesitant. He also isn't married to Starfire anymore although maybe that marriage never actually happened now. Plus he's down to one eczema stick because he gave one to Damian in Batman and Robin. His love life currently sucks because his childhood sweetheart tried to kill him, Batgirl is a bit too competitive for his tastes, and Batwoman is a lesbian. Those are his only choices because he only likes redheads and I can't be bothered to think of any more redheads in the DCnU.

Another thing I forgot to mention because that last paragraph was getting a bit long for my tastes was that Officer Nie is trying to frame Nightwing for murdering some gang members who were actually murdered by Paragon. Officer Nie's love life is all fucked up too because the cop he was in love with was killed by Saiko who was searching for Nightwing to murder.

I just realized this comic book has a lot of daytime drama happening in it. And I like this comic book! Maybe I should have been watching soap operas all these years. I did really love Degrassi Junior High so maybe I shouldn't be so surprised by my penchant for melodrama.

Now, Officer Nie and Nightwing have been led to the sewers where Paragon had murdered his own soldiers. Guess what? It's a trap!

I hope Paragon turns out to be Saiko! One issue after disappearing into a sinkhole, he's returned with a new back story to once again kill Dick Grayson!

This guy Paragon has a serious jones to murder Nightwing. It's almost uncomfortable to watch, as if I've walked in on a really creepy couple about to consummate their wedding night.

I don't know how he plans to slit his throat with his whip made of electricity.

Paragon doesn't finish his thought in that speech bubble up there because Nightwing forces him to dismount. Of course if he'd simply gotten to the throat slitting, this comic could be over. Or it would have at least spent 10 or so issues watching Nightwing recover from a coma and then going through therapy.

The trap also trapped a dozen Gotham Cops in the sewers along with Officer Nie. Nie knows Nightwing is on the other side of the rubble battling Paragon and Nie also knows that Paragon is the real killer they're looking for. I also think he might have found a new love interest.

Look at the tender hug. The intense eye contact. The thoughtfulness and care. Aww!

Turns out Nightwing hates fighting in a small space. He hates it so much that he decides to have a conversation with Paragon that explains this story arc instead of fighting each other to the death. Turns out that the Strayhorns and Paragon were in the car from Issue #2 which Saiko caused to catch fire. This was the same time Saiko killed Officer Nie's boyfriend. Nightwing saved the Strayhorns and Paragon that day. This caused the Strayhorns to rethink being in the Republic of Tomorrow since the guy they were supposed to hate just saved their asses. And as shown last issue, Paragon doesn't like people rethinking being a member of his club. He killed them and framed Nightwing.

That's too bad. I really wanted Paragon to be Saiko. I know I'm the only one and I knew it wasn't going to happen! I can just hear the collective snort of all the fanboys if that actually happened. The snort! And the the aghast, incomprehensible sputtering as they fire up their intense hatred and cynicism drives.

Comic Reader That Can Suspend His Disbelief Only So Much: "But...but...but...! INCREDIBLE! You don't bring a villain back as a newly cowled villain in back to back story arcs! This is just too incredible to believe! DC Editors, on this day, I am ashamed to call myself a fan! I weep for the future! Why don't you just have Tony Daniel begin writing this comic book?! This is as much a betrayal as when Dave Sim found Allah! *sputter* I just...I don't...I mean...Really?!"
His Friend: "Hey, do you think the Pinis will ever get an Elfquest movie made?"
Comic Reader: "*snort* Maybe after the third part of Mage is released!"
His Friend: "Spot on, Sir! Spot on! Oh, I tap my mountain and lightning bolt you for three points of damage."
Comic Reader: "By Odin! You shall pay for this aggression!"

After writing that, I face palmed, snickered a little, and muttered, "Shit." Is that what my life amounts to? Making Magic, Elfquest, and Matt Wagner references? Maybe I need to cleanse my mental palate by reading some real literature. Let's see. I could read the new book by my friend I've mentioned on this blog before, Soy Rakelson (name still changed to protect his innocence although if he's put out a children's book, maybe it's time to stop being so elusive with my codename!). Or maybe I should really dive into Philip K Dick's Exegesis once and for all. No, I don't think either of those choices would actually cleanse anything. They both might just make me go a little bonkers. Perhaps I should just drink some alcohol and lose myself in the foggy haze of ego ablution.

By the way, that's probably the best metaphor for drunkenness you'll get: "the foggy haze of ego ablution." Maybe that's what I'll name my book of poetry that I'll never write because I really don't care about writing poems! Don't steal it! Eww! I'll sue you!

Where was I? Oh yeah! Nightwing just told Paragon the tale of Paragon to prove that Dick Grayson can do detective work too! It just takes a little bit longer than Batman. Dick must feel pretty proud of himself to have figured this all out because Paragon instantly gets the jump on him as Grayson puffs out his chest and blows on his fingernails. The next thing Dick knows, he finds himself being drowned in sewer water. But at least Nightwing doesn't think about his grocery list the way Batgirl did when she was almost drowned. Or whatever she was thinking about. I think it was her grocery list. A loaf of bread. A container of milk. A stick of butter.

I asked earlier if Paragon understood the irony of his mission statement. Question answered!

I wonder if Gail Simone and Kyle Higgins have been riffing off of each other in the DC offices. I didn't mean for that to sound as sexy as it does. It's just that Batgirl is currently fighting Knightfell who thinks she'll protect Gotham by destroying both the bad guys and the heroes that won't kill. And now Paragon is doing virtually the same thing. Perhaps Knightfell and Paragon are siblings!

For the second time in one day, Paragon talks way too much instead of just getting to the job of killing Nightwing. Thus, Paragon misses another chance to finish Dick. Instead of drowning, Dick drags Paragon into the sewer outflow and they wash up in Gotham Bay just outside the old dilapidated amusement park. Waiting for them are Officer Nie (who escaped through a sewer tunnel) and about two dozen cops with weapons drawn. And, for once, they seem to know who to train their guns on. Good thing Batgirl's Detective Melody isn't here or she'd be shooting at Nightwing for "not capturing Paragon fast enough!"

Even with all of the guns drawn on him, Paragon decides to make one last stand. But, once again, he speechifies to try to get the appropriate amount of tension before pulling his plasma blade electric whip thing, thus ruining his chances for victory.

Those Gotham Police have nerves of steel. A Portland cop would have blasted him as soon as he said his first word.

Officer Nie allows Nightwing to leave the scene so I guess they're square. Dick then heads home to recover. He also calls Lucius Fox to tell Lucius that he wants every cent of his trust fund put into buying and renovating the amusement park. Nightwing is going to become a pauper! Or just another Gotham business man. I also wondered, if Dick buys the amusement park, how long before The Penguin is running it? And guess what! The Penguin finally gets a page in this comic book. It's going to happen! Nightwing is going to butt heads with The Penguin on turf issues!

Penguin's scene has nothing to do with Dick yet (hee hee! How do people seriously live with that name their entire lives? They must live in a world where people giggle randomly all the fucking time). It appears Lady Shiva is coming to Gotham and The Penguin wants to be prepared before she begins killing all of the crime lords. I'm not familiar with Lady Shiva so I look her up in my Who's Who Binder.

First Appearance: Richard Dragon, Kung Fu Fighter #5 (January, 1976).

Shiva is a master martial artist. In the old DC Universe, she often fought alongside Ben Turner before he became Bronze Tiger. Perhaps Bronze Tiger will wander into the pages of Suicide Squad soon and then some world building will happen and Nightwing will crossover with Suicide Squad. She also seemed to have been a big influence in Tim Drake's training. I'm not sure how much of an impact she's had in comics in the 2000s though. I guess she's known for taking down crime lords and criminal organizations though.

Finally, Dick meets with Tony Zucco's daughter, Sonia, about the loan for the Amusement Park. Her board agreed to it if Dick put up most of the money and took care of the insurance. She didn't want the deal to happen because he reminds her of a life she barely escaped from. But since she's now stuck in this huge deal with him, she decides to make the best of it. She kisses him and walks off. Now she's really going to be disappointed if she's interested in having a relationship with Dick! She doesn't have red hair!

Nightwing #12 Rating: No change. I'm glad Nightwing will be getting his amusement park though. I wonder what he's going to call it? He'll probably leave the place known as Amusement Mile.