Looking at this cover is the best sex I've ever had.
After reading Eclipso #1, I needed a three month break from reading Eclipso comic books.
After typing the previous sentence, I needed an overnight break from writing another sentence.
Eclipso has a plan to take over the country (which country? I don't know. Parador? Ecuazil? Cheru?):
After typing the previous sentence, I needed an overnight break from writing another sentence.
Eclipso has a plan to take over the country (which country? I don't know. Parador? Ecuazil? Cheru?):
Does he mean the gun or the packets of desiccant?
In 1992, crack cocaine was seen as more dangerous than a Vengeance God with an assault rifle. And I suppose when it's being used by the government to instill racial fear in middle class white people so they readily agree that an increase in incarceration times for poor people in urban areas (predominantly black) who happen to get addicted to the stuff because its availability in poor urban areas was proliferating possibly due to CIA interference and the Vengeance God in question was fictional, it was more dangerous. And since crack cocaine couldn't be use to defend your VCR from crack addicts needing something to sell for their next high, it was obviously more dangerous than guns. Also, the Founding Fathers never put an amendment into the constitution protecting crack cocaine use, mostly because of their lack of foresight.
Hopefully the theme of this Eclipso comic book is that everything that's wrong with America is due to racism. Every single thing. Because most people would absolutely get behind a society with generous safety nets that ensure people have the best chance at making it in this country. The thing that stops most people is that they don't want certain people to get the same benefits. And that's what it all boils down to. Just the term "entitlement programs" is a dog whistle. When people argue that they don't want their taxes going to programs that help people because they would rather choose where they give their "charitable" contributions, it's a dog whistle, whether they know it or not. Whenever somebody argues about their taxes going to a program they see as an entitlement, you can bet they'll clarify that they care about the issue but they want to be able to choose which charity gets their contribution. And even if they don't realize they're making a racist argument, they are. "I want to help the people I think deserve my help" isn't the great defense against paying certain taxes that they think it is.
A lot of people are tired of hearing about racism. But that's because they're all fucking defending racist policies, racist attitudes, and a country that's built on so many racist fucking beliefs that none of us can get out from the overwhelming shit avalanche of it all. And those people, when accused of being racist, use the accusation of racism as a defense to become more racist. It's like they read Twain's Huck Finn and completely missed the point of the "If I'm going to Hell, I might as well go whole hog!" bit at the end. All I see are a bunch of miserable assholes who can't admit nor embrace who they really are because they ultimately understand that who they are and what they believe is a huge fucking problem. So instead they embrace some kind of immature rebel attitude. "My parents called me a liar even though I'm not a liar! Well, if they think I'm a liar, I'll give them liar! I'm going to lie constantly now! That'll show them!" And, of course, the person was called a liar because they lied. But the parents had no proof so the person feels justified in their defense of being a total liar. It's all so fucking immature.
The craziest bit of all is that a lot of people are simply annoyed by things that they would never even have to deal with. They could easily take the "virtue signaling" side without making any changes to their lives at all! Hell, it's easier to simply support the underdogs of society than to contort logic thinking up ways to defend continuing to be a complete and reprehensible asshole. Being compassionate doesn't actually cost anything! Which is why it says so much about a person when they choose the side of patriarchal and racist authoritarianism. The real virtue signaling is ignoring actual compassion for fellow human beings to make sure that you signify to your tribe that you're part of that tribe. At this point in history, that kind of virtue signaling is all that the Republican party stands for (backed by corporate money, of course).
Here's a surprise for some of you: I don't think through the things I write. I write from the heart and off the cuff. Am I wrong in some of the shit I write? I don't know! I just told you! It's off the cuff! But that's why you don't have to fear me! You can just wave your hand and "Pshaw!" my arguments right out of your head! It's the people who spend loads of time constructing their logical argument traps who don't have anybody else's best interests in mind. I'd rather hear from somebody passionately speaking about the shit they believe then listen to some self-proclaimed philosopher and autodidact logician who believes they've created the perfect argument to defend imperfect beliefs. Fuck those people.
Hopefully the theme of this Eclipso comic book is that everything that's wrong with America is due to racism. Every single thing. Because most people would absolutely get behind a society with generous safety nets that ensure people have the best chance at making it in this country. The thing that stops most people is that they don't want certain people to get the same benefits. And that's what it all boils down to. Just the term "entitlement programs" is a dog whistle. When people argue that they don't want their taxes going to programs that help people because they would rather choose where they give their "charitable" contributions, it's a dog whistle, whether they know it or not. Whenever somebody argues about their taxes going to a program they see as an entitlement, you can bet they'll clarify that they care about the issue but they want to be able to choose which charity gets their contribution. And even if they don't realize they're making a racist argument, they are. "I want to help the people I think deserve my help" isn't the great defense against paying certain taxes that they think it is.
A lot of people are tired of hearing about racism. But that's because they're all fucking defending racist policies, racist attitudes, and a country that's built on so many racist fucking beliefs that none of us can get out from the overwhelming shit avalanche of it all. And those people, when accused of being racist, use the accusation of racism as a defense to become more racist. It's like they read Twain's Huck Finn and completely missed the point of the "If I'm going to Hell, I might as well go whole hog!" bit at the end. All I see are a bunch of miserable assholes who can't admit nor embrace who they really are because they ultimately understand that who they are and what they believe is a huge fucking problem. So instead they embrace some kind of immature rebel attitude. "My parents called me a liar even though I'm not a liar! Well, if they think I'm a liar, I'll give them liar! I'm going to lie constantly now! That'll show them!" And, of course, the person was called a liar because they lied. But the parents had no proof so the person feels justified in their defense of being a total liar. It's all so fucking immature.
The craziest bit of all is that a lot of people are simply annoyed by things that they would never even have to deal with. They could easily take the "virtue signaling" side without making any changes to their lives at all! Hell, it's easier to simply support the underdogs of society than to contort logic thinking up ways to defend continuing to be a complete and reprehensible asshole. Being compassionate doesn't actually cost anything! Which is why it says so much about a person when they choose the side of patriarchal and racist authoritarianism. The real virtue signaling is ignoring actual compassion for fellow human beings to make sure that you signify to your tribe that you're part of that tribe. At this point in history, that kind of virtue signaling is all that the Republican party stands for (backed by corporate money, of course).
Here's a surprise for some of you: I don't think through the things I write. I write from the heart and off the cuff. Am I wrong in some of the shit I write? I don't know! I just told you! It's off the cuff! But that's why you don't have to fear me! You can just wave your hand and "Pshaw!" my arguments right out of your head! It's the people who spend loads of time constructing their logical argument traps who don't have anybody else's best interests in mind. I'd rather hear from somebody passionately speaking about the shit they believe then listen to some self-proclaimed philosopher and autodidact logician who believes they've created the perfect argument to defend imperfect beliefs. Fuck those people.
Oh shit! I forgot I'm supposed to be some idiot named Grunion Guy talking about stupid fucking comic books! Sorry!
I used to think nobody reads my comic book reviews because people aren't interested in comic books and didn't know my reviews weren't actually about comic books. But after so many years, I think I finally understand that people don't read them because both of those reasons!
Eclipso decides to stop beating around the bush and possess the president of Venombia. Now I bet he makes him masturbate in public! Or maybe he just floods the U.S. with drugs. Fifty fifty chance that it's one of those two things.
Apparently Eclipso doesn't actually possess the person infected by the Black Diamond. The Black Diamond just causes them to be fueled by whatever rage lives within their heart which they immediately act violently upon. After the president gets angry while holding the Black Diamond, Eclipso says, "Fortunately, the president's anger was directed at his own failure to stem the drug tide!" This causes the president to personally go around the country murdering all of the non-Eclipso drug lords. So now Eclipso has the entire drug trade of Argenaguay at his disposal!
Eclipso decides to stop beating around the bush and possess the president of Venombia. Now I bet he makes him masturbate in public! Or maybe he just floods the U.S. with drugs. Fifty fifty chance that it's one of those two things.
Apparently Eclipso doesn't actually possess the person infected by the Black Diamond. The Black Diamond just causes them to be fueled by whatever rage lives within their heart which they immediately act violently upon. After the president gets angry while holding the Black Diamond, Eclipso says, "Fortunately, the president's anger was directed at his own failure to stem the drug tide!" This causes the president to personally go around the country murdering all of the non-Eclipso drug lords. So now Eclipso has the entire drug trade of Argenaguay at his disposal!
One week later, Eclipso has taken over the country and the moon is still full.
Trust me: the moon was full in the first non-cover picture I scanned. I just didn't scan that much of the page.
Eclipso's plan is to poison the cocaine shipped to the United States. It won't kill people who ingest it for 30 days so I guess that means everybody will die? Because the chance of every American doing cocaine within a 30 day period is 100%? I thought he was going to cut the cocaine with Black Diamond dust so that everybody becomes Eclipsos. I guess that would be too much of a dumb comic book idea.
Meanwhile in Africa, Eclipso as a lion discusses how he plans to bring all of the tiny Black Diamonds back together in the Heart of Darkness before destroying the Heart of Darkness. I don't know that it makes much sense but I guess it's a plan and some motivation for the character. Aside from his main motivation which is to kill everybody.
Eclipso has a third motivation though: to get revenge on Bruce Gordon, the one man who has ever defeated him! And probably will again since Bruce has figured out Eclipso is back and has taken over Guylivia.
Eclipso's plan is to poison the cocaine shipped to the United States. It won't kill people who ingest it for 30 days so I guess that means everybody will die? Because the chance of every American doing cocaine within a 30 day period is 100%? I thought he was going to cut the cocaine with Black Diamond dust so that everybody becomes Eclipsos. I guess that would be too much of a dumb comic book idea.
Meanwhile in Africa, Eclipso as a lion discusses how he plans to bring all of the tiny Black Diamonds back together in the Heart of Darkness before destroying the Heart of Darkness. I don't know that it makes much sense but I guess it's a plan and some motivation for the character. Aside from his main motivation which is to kill everybody.
Eclipso has a third motivation though: to get revenge on Bruce Gordon, the one man who has ever defeated him! And probably will again since Bruce has figured out Eclipso is back and has taken over Guylivia.
The issue ends with a moon-bound deformed mass of Eclipso jerks off over Shakespeare.
Eclipso #2 Rating: D+. Most of this issue is expository. Eclipso just explains things that are going to happen or have just happened while not actually doing much. It feels like the first two issues could have been a brief summary about how Eclipso has returned to the DC Universe and then jumped straight into the action. Maybe having Eclipso recite Shakespeare at the end is supposed to make the reader think, "Oh! This issue is mostly soliloquy! That must means it's intelligent and not boring at all!" But Giffen did expect a stupid reader who doesn't understand Shakespeare to be reviewing his boring comic book! Take that, Giffen!
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