Who s the head that looks like a shark? Starfire?
Nine issues into Teen Titans Spotlight On and it's better than I remember. It seems to have run for 21 issue but I definitely didn't buy the entire series. My guess is that the last issue I bought will turn out to be Teen Titans Spotlight On: Cyborg before I became unwilling to spend the extra 75 cents per month to keep up with the series. I'm actually surprised I didn't dump it with Aqualad but then this issue was written by John Ostrander so I can see why I didn't mind picking it up. I have no memory of ever reading it though.
The artist is Erik Larsen of Savage Dragon fame. I assume he's famous for that even though I've never read it. I'm only a fan of Savage Dragon in that he's the only Image founder who stayed true to the premise of Image Comics, drawing and writing every issue of his creator owned comic book. Obviously he didn't have to do that to stay true to Image's manifesto. But he certainly would have needed to pay anybody who worked on his book royalties on any characters he created. Just like Todd McFarlane should have done and eventually failed to do but then was finally forced to do by the courts. Because sometimes people believe the ideology that backs their effort to make more money and sometimes people just want to make more money.
The artist is Erik Larsen of Savage Dragon fame. I assume he's famous for that even though I've never read it. I'm only a fan of Savage Dragon in that he's the only Image founder who stayed true to the premise of Image Comics, drawing and writing every issue of his creator owned comic book. Obviously he didn't have to do that to stay true to Image's manifesto. But he certainly would have needed to pay anybody who worked on his book royalties on any characters he created. Just like Todd McFarlane should have done and eventually failed to do but then was finally forced to do by the courts. Because sometimes people believe the ideology that backs their effort to make more money and sometimes people just want to make more money.
Garth to his adoptive parents: "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck yoooooooouuuuuuuuuu!"
Garth has awoken in dark water unable to remember how he arrived at this point in his life. When you awaken from a blackout submerged in water, how do you know if you've pissed yourself? Garth could probably taste it with his super powers. I don't know what Aqualad's super powers are but what good is an underwater superhero who can't tell if some kid pissed in the pool? If that were canon, I'd finally stop claiming that Aquaman is a useless member of the Justice League.
Garth finds himself in the throne room of his real parents, King Who-Fucking-Cares and Queen Whatever. King WFC is shooting everybody he sees with his finger guns because he's convinced they're going to kill him. And Queen Whatever, pregnant with Garth, believes everybody is trying to kill her baby. So I guess I now relate to Garth being that we both had a paranoid mother and an alcoholic father? And I can probably taste pee in a pool too except I've never tried! Because, thinking about it for even a second more, that's probably not a super power. Being able to taste pee is just part of the human condition.
Jericho and Nightwing show up to kill Garth's dad. Jericho possess Garth to do it because that's hilarious.
Garth finds himself in the throne room of his real parents, King Who-Fucking-Cares and Queen Whatever. King WFC is shooting everybody he sees with his finger guns because he's convinced they're going to kill him. And Queen Whatever, pregnant with Garth, believes everybody is trying to kill her baby. So I guess I now relate to Garth being that we both had a paranoid mother and an alcoholic father? And I can probably taste pee in a pool too except I've never tried! Because, thinking about it for even a second more, that's probably not a super power. Being able to taste pee is just part of the human condition.
Jericho and Nightwing show up to kill Garth's dad. Jericho possess Garth to do it because that's hilarious.
Judging by the art, I guess this is supposed to be comedic?
Nightwing and Jericho kidnap Garth's pregnant mom. Garth tries to stop him but he can't because he's just Aqualad. Also because he gets sucker-punched by Cyborg.
The voice my brain read this panel in makes me think my brain is racist.
No wait! It's not my brain's fault! It's Aqualad's prejudiced perception of Cyborg! He's obviously never met Cyborg or else that panel would containt three "Booyahs!" and be super boring. Instead it's mildly interesting due to its exposure of Aqualad's bigotry!
If I didn't love John Ostrander's work so much, I could have blamed the stereotypical black voice on him. But I know better! He's a true writer which means it's canon that Aqualad is fucking racist.
Aqualad blows Cyborg to bits because Cyborg is just like Robotman and Red Tornado. It's fun writing stories where they wind up dismembered because it doesn't kill them.
Next Aqualad runs into Changeling who's doing an impression of Jon Lovitz's pathological liar character, Tommy Flanagan. I didn't remember that's the name of the character. I used Google! Sometimes I want people to believe I know things I totally didn't know to make me look smart. But other times, I want to make sure people don't think I knew stupid bullshit that makes me look like a fucking asshole.
So I guess the entire tone of this comic book is supposed to be humorous and surreal. It was hard to tell if Nightwing and Jericho threatening to kill a pregnant woman was funny because they were drawn in a goofy way or because threatening pregnant women is just inherently funny. See how you're thinking, "Is it funny? I don't know about that." I get it! You need further proof. Like that panel above where Garth shoots his dead square in the face! Sure, I found it funny! But I know not everybody is me. So for further proof, let me introduce "Cyborg's racist caricature" as further evidence of how wildly hilarious this comic book is! No, still not convinced? Well, the Gar bit has to convince you, right?!
If I didn't love John Ostrander's work so much, I could have blamed the stereotypical black voice on him. But I know better! He's a true writer which means it's canon that Aqualad is fucking racist.
Aqualad blows Cyborg to bits because Cyborg is just like Robotman and Red Tornado. It's fun writing stories where they wind up dismembered because it doesn't kill them.
Next Aqualad runs into Changeling who's doing an impression of Jon Lovitz's pathological liar character, Tommy Flanagan. I didn't remember that's the name of the character. I used Google! Sometimes I want people to believe I know things I totally didn't know to make me look smart. But other times, I want to make sure people don't think I knew stupid bullshit that makes me look like a fucking asshole.
So I guess the entire tone of this comic book is supposed to be humorous and surreal. It was hard to tell if Nightwing and Jericho threatening to kill a pregnant woman was funny because they were drawn in a goofy way or because threatening pregnant women is just inherently funny. See how you're thinking, "Is it funny? I don't know about that." I get it! You need further proof. Like that panel above where Garth shoots his dead square in the face! Sure, I found it funny! But I know not everybody is me. So for further proof, let me introduce "Cyborg's racist caricature" as further evidence of how wildly hilarious this comic book is! No, still not convinced? Well, the Gar bit has to convince you, right?!
What's funnier than an impression of a Saturday Night Live character?! Yes, yes, I know. But The Office didn't exist in 1987!
Some of you might not have read Teen Titans Spotlight On: The Changeling so you might be wondering, "What the fudge is going on?!" Well, for those people who didn't read my commentary for that comic either, Aqualad has been captured by Mento. He's being mentally tortured right now.
Oh! Mentioning Mento, I just realized that maybe Aqualad isn't racist! Of course he knows how Cyborg speaks! It's Mento who doesn't understand the Titans and thinks of them as caricatures! He's providing the totally racist and not-at-all funny and super aggressive dialogue by the other Titans!
Oh! Mentioning Mento, I just realized that maybe Aqualad isn't racist! Of course he knows how Cyborg speaks! It's Mento who doesn't understand the Titans and thinks of them as caricatures! He's providing the totally racist and not-at-all funny and super aggressive dialogue by the other Titans!
Weird. Mento totally nailed Wonder Girl's vibe.
I feel better now that I've concluded Garth isn't both useless and racist.
While trying to save Tula, Garth learns from Mera that everybody who ever died did so because Garth couldn't save them. He finally breaks down and screams, "Nooooooooooooo!" Which I guess was the secret to breaking Mento's hold on his mind! Garth wakes up in a small aquarium to see Mento jerking off in his wheelchair.
Catching him unawares, Garth is able to use his sea creature telepathy to take control of Mento's helmet. I could explain how it all makes sense since Mento and Garth explain it all but how much detail do you really need? It's a fucking comic book, people. As soon as you flip open the cover, you should be ready to buy into whatever lit-slop the writer shovels into your brain mouth.
In Aqualad's fantasy for Mento, we learn that Garth might not be racist but he's super ableist.
While trying to save Tula, Garth learns from Mera that everybody who ever died did so because Garth couldn't save them. He finally breaks down and screams, "Nooooooooooooo!" Which I guess was the secret to breaking Mento's hold on his mind! Garth wakes up in a small aquarium to see Mento jerking off in his wheelchair.
Catching him unawares, Garth is able to use his sea creature telepathy to take control of Mento's helmet. I could explain how it all makes sense since Mento and Garth explain it all but how much detail do you really need? It's a fucking comic book, people. As soon as you flip open the cover, you should be ready to buy into whatever lit-slop the writer shovels into your brain mouth.
In Aqualad's fantasy for Mento, we learn that Garth might not be racist but he's super ableist.
This comic book should be framed and hung on Ethan Van Sciver's living room wall.
In the mental battle of wills that follows, Garth and Mento learn that each of them has lost their greatest love. The suffering they share breaks their mental link and Garth's prison shatters. While Garth feels pity and sympathy for Mento, Mento feels only anger that Garth would learn of his weakness. He curses Garth with a mental command that if Garth ever returns to Steve Dayton's residence, his body will believe it's been out of water for three hours and he'll instantly die! How come Grant Morrison never remembered that bit of continuity and used it to kill stupid Aqualad in a later book?
Teen Titans Spotlight #10: Aqualad Rating: C. This was an average story about an average character. The theme was grandiose but I don't think Ostrander managed to convey the emotion of it with all the silly hallucinations. It was called "Scar Tissue" because it was about grief and opening oneself up to be available for healing even if it also opens a person to more pain and suffering. Garth is on the road to healing while Mento is covered in scar tissue. It wasn't until the very end where any of this becomes obvious and by then, I'd already been turned off by Changeling's Jon Lovitz impression. I mean by the sexism and racism!
Teen Titans Spotlight #10: Aqualad Rating: C. This was an average story about an average character. The theme was grandiose but I don't think Ostrander managed to convey the emotion of it with all the silly hallucinations. It was called "Scar Tissue" because it was about grief and opening oneself up to be available for healing even if it also opens a person to more pain and suffering. Garth is on the road to healing while Mento is covered in scar tissue. It wasn't until the very end where any of this becomes obvious and by then, I'd already been turned off by Changeling's Jon Lovitz impression. I mean by the sexism and racism!
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