Thursday, October 6, 2016

Detective Comics #941


What about the Monster Women? Fucking sexist bullshit.

The Review!
The various battles between the Batfamily and the Monster Men continue this issue with a little bit of forward progress against one, a little bit of backwards progress against another, and no progress at all against the third one. Batman and Batwoman make no headway against their giant Hydra-Gryphon. They spend most of the issue just asking the others how they're doing. Gotham Girl manages to kill Dick Grayson's Monster Man which is more of a Monster Woman seeing as how it's having babies all over the place. But after killing it, the Monster's gore and ichor get all over Nightwing and Gotham Girl. Subsequently, they turn into Monster Men themselves. Gross. Nightwing is going to be covered in stretch marks after this. But Spoiler and Orphan are actually making headway against the Rage Fungus! And it's all because of Orphan's great plan: "...grass."

That's it. That's her plan. You would think it would be a shitty useless plan but it's not because Spoiler knows exactly what she means!


Oh fuck you. That is patently ridiculous!

I'm not saying green leaf volatiles aren't a thing. But Spoiler's conclusion as to how they work? Get the fuck out of here! I'm glad Tim's too dead to hear this embarrassing statement by Spoiler! Let's say a blade of grass that is cut can communicate to the next blade of grass that there is danger. What the fuck is the second blade of grass going to do?! Shit itself, I suppose, because it ain't gonna do fuck all to avoid the danger of the first blade! So it doesn't make any sense that it's "the way plants communicate" or "warn each other of danger." Knowing no science behind any of this, I had to immediately call bollocks because it's a stupid conclusion. So I asked Lord Google about it and he came back with a sensible explanation. The volatiles aren't about communication with other plants. It's about "communication" with insects that prey on the insects that eat grass. So the smell attracts the insects that destroy the insects who destroy the plant! Now that makes sense on an evolutionary scale. Plants that wind up releasing these volatiles live longer because they have a bodyguard system in place. And wasps that react to this smell are more likely to find food. So even if the first blade of grass that emitted a green leaf volatile was just the laughingstock of the other blades of grass, it had a greater chance of survival if a wasp that was curious about the smell happened by. Not that evolution takes place in that kind of a time scale. But, simplistically, it makes evolutionary sense. Having a blade of grass evolve to realize it's being threatened and to send out a warning to other blades of grass that can't do anything about the threat because they're just fucking blades of grass? Get out of here!

Maybe Spoiler isn't as smart as I thought she was!

That's about the most exciting thing to happen here. It's mostly just stupid Monsters.

The Ranking!
-0! What is going on here? This feels like the kind of story DC Comics would have been thrilled about in 1979. In 2016? It feels like boring crap. At least give one of the monsters a huge ass cock to swing around.

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