Sunday, March 27, 2016

Sinestro #21


Someone bought this comic book because the cover looked exciting and now they're questioning every decision they've ever made.

Rating: It's Easter morning so I'm going to pretend I understand what it's like to have the compassion of Jesus and not lower the ranking of this comic book. Although, how compassionate was Jesus really? He fucking ruined the last supper he had with his closest friends by calling them out on future bad behavior. How fucked up is that? "Dudes, I've got some bad news. Some of the people sitting here are going to wind up being real huge dicks later." I wonder if Jesus had a whole list of really petty shit that was cut from the Bible in editing. "Judas is going to betray me. Peter will deny me. Mark will neglect his pet dog. Luke is going to write some fanfic about my birth. James is going to carve his and my initials inside a little heart on that tree over there. All the other ones are going to suddenly remember my thing about being fishers of men and not resorting to violence when they have the chance to save my life."

• Thankfully, this comic book is finished at Issue #23 and Cullen Bunn has no part in DC's Rebirth. Now if only Scott Lobdell would manage the same deal. How did Lobdell get handed the keys to Jason Todd and Roy Harper? Why does DC want to punish their fans so badly?

• Soranik is now leader of the Yellow Lanterns because Sinestro forgot how to recharge his ring.

• Everybody on Earth loves the Yellow Lanterns now. Which is totally believable because the people of the DC Youniverse are complete morons. They hate Superman who has never done anything to harm them but who could. They love Sinestro and the Yellow Lanterns because they've saved them this one time and all the other shit they've done to the Earth can be explained away by the Reboot. Maybe.


• This line is a good example of a hack writer.

• Does Cullen Bunn know what comic books are? He does know that pictures are added to his script, right?

• Lyssa has prophesied the fall of the Sinestro Corps not because she's a prophet but because Cullen Bunn is a hack. Prophecies create easy tension! They're lazy plot devices. It's why the television show Heroes was such a piece of shit, especially the second season. Because they relied on glimpses of the future to motivate the people of the present. It's a lazy way to cause conflict.

• Lyssa tells Sinestro that she knows the future and she knows a way for him to change the future to his liking. How about she just tell the reader everything she knows right now so the comic book can end here and now?

• Mongul returns to his senses and begins murdering Yellow Lanterns. Once again, power rings, the most powerful weapons in the universe, have no effect on an enemy when the plot calls for it.

• Mongul heads to Earth to hide because there are currently too many lanterns. Even though the yellow light just bounces off his face? What a coward.


I know how hope relates to fear: "I hope I don't die!"

• Cullen Bunn is allowed to write a small scene with Superman and Wonder Woman. It's a mistake. Instead of writing them in character, he simply makes them say things in service to Sinestro and the yellow lanterns. "Oh! Oh! I loved having a Yellow Ring! The power!" "I want to fuck Bekka!" "Me too!"

• Cullen Bunn also writes the people of Earth as sycophants pleading for the Yellow Lanterns to protect the Earth because Superman fucking sucks and Batman is a cop and Wonder Woman is being written by the Finches!

• Soranik appoints Arkillo as the Yellow Lantern of Sector 2814 (although, really, she's telling him to stay on Earth). She allows Saint Walker to be his sidekick.


They would just shrug and say, "Yeah, yeah. What super hero group doesn't cause the threats they save us from? Yawn!"

• The Sinestro Corps heads home to New Korugar to await the super special ending of this comic book. I don't actually know if it will have any kind of special ending. I just know it'll be awesome to read "The End."

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