All Star Section Eight #6

This could have ended DK III before it begun thus saving me a load of money.

I probably won't have much to say about this comic book. I never really have much to say about All Star Section Eight. It's Ennis and McCrea having a goof about superheroes. Again. Although Superman stars in this one and Ennis gets Superman. Which is weird when you realize Garth Ennis doesn't really give a shit about superheroes and seems to find them patently ridiculous. And yet he's one of the few writers who consistently does a good job writing Superman. Probably because he doesn't view Superman as his superpowers but as his heart, motivation, and ultimate kindness for all people. Weird how that concept frustrates so many writers.

At the end of the last issue, Superman walked into Noonan's to rescues Sixpack. Superman's probably just a hallucination but what does that matter, right? Since he's already a fictional character, a hallucinated version of the fictional character really won't be that far off from the real thing. In fact it will be better than 95% of The New 52's portrayals of the real thing, probably.

Sixpack is having an existentialist crisis brought on by dying in the snow in an alley. Unless it's been brought on by drinking too much. Or maybe it was seeing his friends die horrible deaths because he told them they were heroes. Maybe he's just mentally ill. Is Sixpack freezing because he's lying in a snowbank or is it because he's visiting the Fortress of Solitude? And how can Superman help him figure it out? Or, um, how can a hallucination of Superman help him?

Sixpack's been asking himself if he's a hero or a loser lately. That's probably why he's finally worked his way up to thinking he's meeting Superman because Superman is the heroiest of heroes. Sixpack needs his advice.

Okay, okay, Ennis. Pull it back a little! Stepping on a lot of toes here!

That being said...I think this comic book is going to make me cry. Garth Ennis is ultimately going to defend superhero comic books. Sixpack will be seen as heroic simply because he believed in it and made the attempt to be so. And Superman will help him reach this realization by being uplifting and kind and understanding.

One time, I believed I had dreamt my life. I was on mushrooms in the parking lot of a strip club and I suddenly felt with absolute certainty that that had been my life and I had dreamed the person with the college degree who would be soon be driving a VW Bus across the country followed by a trip to Asia. I had simply believed that those things were in my future because my reality was like Superman's arctic panorama...too bleak to comprehend. Interestingly enough, I also believed that I came up with the concept of comic books during that period of mushroom induced madness.

Later, with Sixpack believing he's lying in the alley dreaming it all, Superman explains that maybe he is, and that maybe they should all be thankful for it. He mentions a story about a god dreaming it all and, if that god were to awake, reality would disappear. Here's another common thread I have with this story. The Red King of Carroll's Through the Looking-Glass always fascinated and scared me. When I first went online in the mid-nineties, I took the online name The Red King because the online world only existed while I was logged on. When I logged off--Poof!--out it would go like a candle.

Superman takes Sixpack to a park in Gotham where a statue has been erected of Sixpack claiming he's a superhero and savior of the world.

Superman then hands Sixpack some whisky to ensure that Superman will continue to exist.

Okay. I now see where I went wrong in assuming a hallucination of Superman would be equal to the regular old fictional Superman. It depends on whose doing the hallucinating, doesn't it? In Sixpack's mind, Superman gives people what they need and so Sixpack's Superman is an enabler!

Meanwhile, Grappler has realized he's in the most disgusting place in the DC You (Noonan's toilet) and decides to hang himself. Dogwelder almost returns to normal but then decides to weld his son's dog to the rest of his family. Powertool fries himself and Baytor heads back to hell. That just leaves Guts and Bueno Excellente and they're off honeymooning in the ladies' room. So Sixpack rushes off to torment passersby in the streets with a broken bottle of whisky as he battles an evil only he can see.

The issue ends with Sixpack either running around crazy or sleeping in a snowy alley wrapped in Superman's cape. It's ambiguous because none of it is real. But let's say the sleeping Sixpack in the alley is real. Then Garth Ennis got New 52 Superman exactly right! He's a fucking selfish dick who has decided that it's too risky to wake a dying drunk man to get him help because he might be dreaming the DC You!

All Star Section Eight #6 Rating: No change. What more could you expect from this comic book than commentary on the ridiculousness of super heroes, disgusting and offensive characters, and loads of drinking? I won't miss all the vomit and soiled pants, I tell you what.