The Flash #45

Is Zoom supposed to be giant on this cover or is this just Brett Booth's inability to draw perspective correctly?

Last issue ended with Professor Zoom's underlings setting up a shield around the Central City Police Station. When The Flash tried to vibrate through it at superspeed, he set off a bomb that is threatening to kill lots and lots of people. Obviously that means that stupid people will claim that The Flash is responsible for any deaths caused as opposed to the jerks who created the bomb.

Captain Frye with an appropriate response.

How did Captain Frye's arm come out of his trench coat's sleeve? Did he draw his gun that fast? I don't think that makes any sense either. Anyway, it's obvious that The Flash is to blame and should be shot.

So this is Professor Zoom's plot to make everybody hate The Flash? Set up a bomb which only blows up if The Flash uses his super powers? I know the DC Youniverse is filled with idiots and xenophobes but even they can't actually turn on The Flash because of this nonsense, right?! Although I suppose once Iris West publishes her anti-Flash spin on the situation, The Flash's reputation will be ruined forever.

"Just let me pull these manacles out of my rib cage!"

Wally West approaches Captain Frye and tells him he has an idea to get them outside the frozen oxygen super dome. But Captain Frye is all, "You're just a boy! There's no possible way you know something the rest of the adults don't know! What do you think this is, a comic book?!" Captain Frye shoos Wally West inside and Wally stops trying to get his point across because it's only three pages into the comic book which is too soon to solve the problem.

Outside of the dome, Iris's photographer is getting great pictures of The Flash shooting lightning out of his body. It'll go perfectly with Iris's article about how The Flash almost got her nephew killed and how he's a hazard to Central City! Ha ha ha ha! Professor Zoom's plan is really coming together nicely!

Wally talks to the mechanic Tim who taught him all about those engines that burn super hot last issue. And then the mechanic dies. I think. He might also have just orgasmed and fallen asleep. Whatever happened, Wally didn't witness it because he ran off to save the day by himself because nobody will listen to him.

Wally ties the magnesium engine to the front of a riot van, sets it on fire, and drives straight toward the oxygen wall! Oh noes! It's going to cause a massive explosion!

Whut? Why? When?

Luckily The Flash removes Wally from the van before the entire dome explodes all over his stupid face. Wally has bricks tied to both feet because he's an idiot. If the brick was there to make him taller so he can reach the pedals or if it was there to allow him to press the gas harder, he still only needed to tie one to his right foot. Although since he only needed to drive forward about thirty feet, he could have just not taken the time to tie bricks to his feet and just slid down the seat some? Maybe the bricks will be important later when he realizes he has super speed and they...do something?

Anyway, Wally's trick works! A hole is burned into the shell and now everybody can escape and The Flash can remain a hero!

Stop saving everybody your way, Flash! Respect Captain Frye's authority!

The Flash saves everybody just before the bomb blows up and destroys the Central City Police Department. Then Hartley and Singh kiss. It's totally gross! A cop kissing an ex-super villain?! Pee-yuke!

Captain Frye decides that The Flash is a monster because he saved everybody's lives and was framed by a bunch of terrorists. It totally makes sense and doesn't seem stupidly contrived at all! I mean, what do I expect?! I knew what I was signing up for when I decided to read a comic book! Some characters are going to appear in the story simply to have an irrational hatred for the super heroes! It's a tradition as old as J. Jonah Jameson's hatred of Spider-man! Maybe even older!

Well if random, idiotic eye witnesses said it, it must be true! Journalism!

Professor Zoom has had Henry Allen create a glove that drains speed powers from other speedsters and transfers them to the wearer. But it's too bad he had to explain the whole thing out loud because Yu-Gi-Oh Magali, his henchman that can change the age of things, walks in and hears his plan! She already proved that she was doubting him earlier so now it seems she'll be switching sides! If she can get away, of course! It's not like she can run very fast.

She doesn't get away. Instead, Zoom just steals her powers! And then he declares he's going to steal all of the powers! And then he's going to become a god! And then he's going to...well, I don't know what his ultimate goal is. I guess just to be super powerful so he can prove to his dad that he isn't worthless.

The Flash #45 Rating: -2 Ranking. This comic book is really dumb and the art is terrible. It's possible that people that just like stupid comic books would like this comic book. I may have liked it one time when I was younger and it was an alternate timeline where I was a lot dumber. But that isn't the case here. Hopefully it will be better when Venditti and Jensen just knock it the fuck off with all the time travel shenanigans.