Action Comics #42

Gooble Gobble! Gooble Gobble!

Superman is a man descended from the sky who is trying to save us all while the government wants him dead! That seems vaguely familiar! And the imagery on the cover seems to remind me of something? I can't quite figure it out but it's probably the X-men since that's what this book has become. If any comic book readers can't get enough of the whole normal people hating super powered people story line from the last fifty years of The X-men, you can now get your fill with Superman! He says he's a nice guy just trying to do the right thing but how can anybody believe him when he's different than us?! And if you can't get enough of all of this xenophobic tripe, you only have about a year before Batman Vs Superman is in theaters and Bruce Wayne winds up making Lex Luthor look like a calm motherfucker (in a ridiculous wig).

Last issue, Superman returned to Metropolis even though everybody hates him now. He ran away for awhile but he decided it was time to come back. If you want to know why, you'll just have to wait until Superman #44 is published. Until then, just trust whatever Greg Pak writes and try not to get too angry when an Editor's Note tells you to go read a comic book that doesn't exist to understand what's going on. Some people in Superman's old neighborhood are glad he's back because, believe it or not, a minuscule number of people actually trust Superman and have no beef against him just because he's different.

Hey kids who have differences which the media often tell you will make your life hell because everybody in the world is a bigoted asshole! I have news for you: they're wrong. And stories like this perpetuate the idea that the majority of people are unfeeling assholes who won't accept anybody who's different than they are. People are assholes, yes, but for different reasons than being prejudiced cunts. The majority of people you meet in life will never try to harm you or be mean to you or treat you like the subhuman you probably are (I mean, let's face it. Aren't we all fucking gross assholes?). Although the part of this story that is believable is the part where the police are doing the bidding of the rich and powerful. They're moving in to wipe out the people in Superman's neighborhood because somebody rich and/or powerful fears these people. See, it's the government and their pawns on their police forces and the people who most fear for their position of wealth and power who want us all to believe that the masses are full of hateful, vile people. The masses are not. Although, let's face it. When you meet that one dick in a thousand, you forget about the existence of the other 999 cool people. Fucking dicks ruin everything.

Just screaming into a megaphone that something is unlawful doesn't make it so.

Just like a pig! Shouting bullshit orders to give them a bullshit excuse to arrest people for resisting arrest! How in the world can anybody ever be charged with only resisting arrest? You fuckers had best charge me with something else first or else I wasn't resisting shit.

Currently Superman is battling a Sludge Monster down at the pier. Superman seems to recognize the thing? Like he's battled them before somewhere? Or something? I wish I knew more!

Oh thanks! I'll fucking check that out! Or--now hear me out--how about not publishing stories that rely on information in stories that have yet to be published? Tell this fucking story after Superman #44 comes out! In the meantime, tell some other fucking Superman story that takes places before he loses his identity. I hate you, DC Comics.

Superman pulls some old tall tale bullshit and rodeos the shadow monster into a conveniently placed gas truck near a helpful fire. He blows it up and he survives even though he's "not as invulnerable" as he was. So how invulnerable is he? And how strong is he? And what happened to his Solar Flare Power? And why does everybody know who he is? And why do they all hate him? And why am I still reading this piece of shit comic book?

The police move in on the Block Party because they want everybody to know if you approve of Supeman, you're not worth protecting. This story is so poorly written that I should be angry at Greg Pak and yet he and his dumb story are just making me angrier at a police force that's supposed to protect and serve the populace but which does neither. At their best, they're just glorified meter maids handing out as many tickets as they possibly can. Most cops could probably be replaced by red light cameras and speed trap vans. And even though I'm opposed to those things, I'd rather have my city full of them than actual police officers. Fuck those guys. Even the good ones who supposedly take their job seriously because they're not taking it seriously enough to stand up and help stamp out the corruption among their peers!

This guy must have transferred over from Gotham.

Binghamton orders the SWAT team to beat the shit out of Superman as he just stands and takes it. Who are these guys on the SWAT team that just follow bullshit, violent, sadistic orders like this? I bet it's Lex Luthor in a mask and a wig! He probably paid off the SWAT guy to get a chance to beat the shit out of Superman legally. I mean, um, "legally."

Binghamton fires tear gas into the crowd and the SWAT guys begin beating the shit out of people. I guess the interview to become a member of the SWAT team in Metropolis is just two questions: Do you love beating people? and Do you absolutely love beating people? Meanwhile, Jimmy Olsen just stands around taking pictures. Not because he's hoping for a Pulitzer! No! He needs to get the truth to the people!

Superman can't stand around being peaceful any longer and punches the fuck out of Binghamton. I wonder if Jimmy Olsen got a photograph of that! I bet J. Jonah White runs that shot on the cover of the Bugle Planet!

Action Comics #42 Rating: -3 Ranking. Why is this comic book making me so angry?!