When did DC Comics acquire the rights to Appleseed?
Just in the books I've reread recently, I can see how my love of comic books progressed. First I was just interested in funny and offbeat and maybe a whole lot of heroes and villains teaming up together. Later, with Suicide Squad, I was learning how well a story could be told. I saw how a careful writer could plant the seeds of future story arcs so that they seamlessly and organically fell into place month after month. And I learned that a character doesn't have to be a big name to be interesting or fascinating. Later while reading Shade the Changing Man, I realized that I could actually feel for and fall in love with the characters in the books. And Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol proved that some stories could only (or, perhaps, should only?) be told in this medium.
Later still, Transmetropolitan would teach me that my mind could be blown by comic books. And of course there were others strewn throughout the years. Elfquest infiltrated my dreams and adolescent romantic fantasies (nonsexual! Mostly. Probably?). Cerebus made history and politics and sociology and economics interesting aspects of a really fucking hilarious (until post-Guys, really) story. Strangers in Paradise broke my heart over and over again. House of Secrets helped me yearn for something more and became my single most important companion on a road trip across the United States in a VW Bus. Watchmen made me realize how much I had missed when I read it a decade after it was published. Neil Gaiman's Sandman proved epics could thrive in the medium. Aquaman taught me that somebody was always out there to love and defend you (it wasn't ever me though).
I mention all of this because comic books have been a huge part of my life since I was at least twelve. I was never ashamed of reading them. In junior high, my color volumes of Elfquest were probably read by at least a dozen or more classmates. I remember when they were a niche hobby and my local comic book shop, Brian's Books, was as quiet as a library and very often completely empty. There was a time when comic book culture wasn't cool. But it was a savior for a lot of kids that didn't fit in anywhere else. Now it's different. Now people fight about who is a real comic book fan and who isn't. Nobody is ashamed to be a comic book fan because it's mainstream. Comic books seem to be the number one source of popular culture right now. It's hard to remember a time when the people who were reading comics were doing it, not because it was popular or mainstream, but because it was saving their fucking souls. Now, especially with the internet, you can find a large community interested in anything you're interested in. But there was a time when you read comics alone and shared them with a sparse handful of friends. Conventions were small and populated by awkward loners. When you bonded with somebody over comic books, you gushed. You erupted. You broke the handle off the tap with a hammer and just never stopped pouring forth opinions. It seemed that rare to find opportunity to share your love of this medium.
I don't mention any of this in any sort of elitist or condescending framework. I just think the landscape of comic book fandom is so vastly different now that people need to know how comic books saved many desperately lonely introverts from their every day existence in which they never felt comfortable. I love comic books. And I'm glad that now many, many more people truly love comic books (or, at least, the universes and characters which sprang forth from them). It's a great time to be a comic book fan. I just want people to remember, and realize, that it wasn't always thus. But one thing will always remain true: still lurking in the shadow of the hugely popular Hollywood entertainment and crowds of fans enjoying the stories, comic books are still rescuing the desperately lonely introverts of this world. Only now, companies, both corporate and independents, are putting out such a huge variety of titles that they're reaching even more scared, lonely kids that would rather sit in a quiet corner of a library than hang out in the quad at lunch surrounded by people comfortable in their own skin. And I hope events like Free Comic Book Day are bringing in the awkward youngsters and introducing them to a world where they finally feel like they fit in.
And now that that's out of my system, I want to thank Jen Stansfield for sending me this issue since I completely missed Free Comic Book Day this year due to being in Sacramento at the 2015 Slackathlon. No winner was determined since we only played six games. The other four will take place in two years in Phoenix! And now, on to the stories!
Divergence: Batman
This story is called "The Rookie" because Bruce Wayne is dead and Gotham needs a new Batman. There should be an asterisk by the word "dead" and then there should be a note later down the page that begins with an asterisk and that note should say, "Supposedly. He actually may have last been seen walking with Damian Wayne across from the theater where Batman and Superman had a bit of a tussle." I suppose we'll be introduced to the new Bat in this story! I bet his name is Jim! And I bet he's a corrupt asshole! Those guesses are based on the Detective Comics Divergence story.
The story begins at a Batsignal Vigil for Batman.
Something...batty?!
The "Jim" in question is most definitely Commissioner Gordon. And he's the guy in the bat armor who has Harvey's back in Detective Comics. Which now makes me believe that Detective Yip was not blown up by Harvey. I didn't want to believe they actually did it when I first read the Detective Comics Divergence story but I could almost see Montoya and Bullock killing one of their one as a necessary and last resort. But if Jim has their back, no way. It might even be a diversion to make Montoya think Yip is dead for some reason. When Harvey asked Jim in the Detective Comics Divergence Sneak Peek to help him kill his partner, he must have meant "help me make it look like my partner is dead." So before the van blew up, Jim must have pulled Yip from the vehicle. So now, for whatever reason, Montoya thinks Yip is dead and that's the thing that Bullock actually needed. Whew. I feel so much better now!
Anyway, that's the big reveal in this story! Jim Gordon is the new Batman in an armored Batsuit created by Powers International! Unless the big reveal was that Jim was going to stop smoking?
Divergence: Superman
Superman has been having some trouble with his super powers ever since he began experimenting with his FWASH Ability. That's where he turns his heat vision inside out and explodes himself all over the place. This results in an extinction level event over a few miles diameter. Superman also loses his powers for about 24 hours. He's also found that his flight is wonky and he can only leap for even longer periods than a day. He's been hanging out a lot more with his pal, Jimmy Olsen. Jimmy now knows Superman's secret identity because Clark Kent needed a best friend that would look up to him. He was tired of his old best friend who used to always "--:tt:--" everything he said.
Jimmy and Clark are having coffee when a hugely muscled idiot approaches and asks Clark if he's Clark Kent. When Jimmy tells the guy Clark's name is Horace Horacemen, Jimmy proves he's actually the idiot. But the big guy seems to think he's figured something out about Clark Kent and Superman.
I think Clark is actually the biggest idiot in the story for telling Jimmy his secret identity.
Or maybe it was that other so-called friend of his. Anything for a story, hunh, Lois?! The world has a right to know, right?! Fuck people's privacy! If it's in the news, it must be important therefore being in the news is reason enough for an item to be in the news! Fuck you, journalists.
Later Lois drops by Clark's hotel to try to give him some cash and an apology. He accepts neither.
Look on the bright side, Superman! As soon as an artist other than John Romita Jr. begins work on the book, nobody will recognize you! Maybe you can become Klark Cent!
Divergence: Justice League
The Justice League story is a second prologue to the Darkseid Loves Anti-Monitor War. But it begins the night that Wonder Woman was born. At the same time, on the other side of Paradise Island, an Amazon assassin known as Myrina was giving birth as well.
Father must have been Darkseid? Is this the story of Omega?
Menalippe is all, "Green Lantern will be all martyry!" and "Batman will be all New Godlike!" and "Lex Luthor will mourn his girlfriend!" and "Aquaman will...oh who cares." and "Shazam and Cyborg will become Shazamaborg!" and "Mister Miracle will dare a guy to punch him in the chest and he'll die!" and "Wonder Woman will be all Wondery!" So the other non-mother to Omega who is at the birth is all, "Menalippe's prophecies always come true so we must kill the baby so that this one won't come true except that makes no sense because she already had the prophecy and her prophecies always come true oh shit we're screwed!"
Menalippe also predicts that the universe will die. Bah! The DC Universe is used to that. Bring it the fuck on!
Also the daughter's name is Grail but the Omega symbol is all over the place so whatever. Next month in the Justice League: another fucking huge epic crossover universe destroying heroes against the ropes story! Yay!
The end of the issue has a bunch of New 52 Essential Graphic Novels that DC Comics thinks fans should read. They all have blurbs from critics but I don't see any blurbs from me so the blurbs are all worthless garbage.
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