Sinestro #11

Having everybody in the universe use English to name themselves and their teams is a handy little comic book convention that I don't think we applaud enough. Give it a hand!

It's hard to believe this comic is already on Issue #11. I feel like I've only read two issues so far. And in both issues, Sinestro mentioned how Hal Jordan was his best friend and his worst enemy.

As a cutting edge, topical writer, I should probably comment on the most important news story of the week: today all of the numbers from Lost lined up in our time and dating system: 4/8/15 16:23:42! Well, they did if you write the date before the time. And also if you're American which means the month comes before the date. And also if you use military time (which is just known as "metric time" to every other non-American country. Or something). So it was actually less spectacular than everybody wants you to believe. I'm sure a lot of people's reactions were akin to Regina King's comment (she was the person whose comment appeared at the bottom of the article as I looked at it during my brief visit to Facebook over dinner): "The 16 is the only number that doesn't line up. But it's a multiple of 4 so I guess it still works. LOL!" Oh, Regina! You ignorant rapscallion you! Keep being you, girl!

Anything else happening in the news lately important enough for me to comment on? I don't think so. I almost began writing about a cop shooting an unarmed black man during a traffic stop but since the cop was being charged with murder, I believe I must have dreamed the entire thing. And nobody wants to hear me comment on my dreams!

Anyway, I didn't dream Sinestro. And if I did, I'd scold myself for having such boring, ridiculous dreams.

Thanks for narrating a scene you cannot see which you're not involved in anyway and bringing your own suppositions and biases into the equation, Sinestro! I hate perceiving things without help and coming up with my own conclusions!

Bekka has come to Warworld to help rescue Sinestro because she just couldn't get him out of her mind after meeting him. How can a female resist his condescending attitude, his arrogant demeanor, and his bright pink skin? Swoon! Plus he must be all man! Why else would his name mean "without estrus"?

Sinestro is still tied up and hanging upside down deep inside Warworld where he's busy convincing Whats'isname of the Apex League to abandon Mongul and join with him. The Apex League wants to destroy The Paling, a cult of apathy. But Sinestro points out that Mongul is no better. He also travels from world to world destroying entire planets and solar systems. Instead, the Apex League should side with Sinestro! Because when Sinestro destroys a planet, he does it for the greater good! He's the planet destroying menace that knows what this universe needs! Vote Sinestro!

Sinestro delivers his well-practiced "Fear Can Move Mountains!" speech that he usually saves for Hal Jordan and other suitors not ready to give up the butt. The Apex guy is all, "I'm listening...," as he loosens his belt.

Up on Warworld's surface, Mongul turns on his ring draining technology he scavenged from space and defeats the entire Sinestro Corps. He's still got issues with the Corps that go back to the Preboot universe, so I have no idea what it's all about and I don't really care. I feel like Mongul and Warworld aren't being written to Jim Starlin's satisfaction here. That's not a criticism on Cullen Bunn's part! I just think Jim Starlin probably hates it when anybody uses Mongul or Warworld. Because that just means when he next writes another comic book, he might have to forgo using Mongul and Warworld because they were used too recently by another writer. And then he'll have to come up with a new villain that looks exactly like Thanos and Darkseid who flies around in a planet-sized weapon of war.

Once the rings are drained, the Sinestro Corps members are pretty much useless. All but one of them, anyway.

One of my favorite lines from Pink's album Missundaztood is "What good am I to you if I can't be broken?" Which is an especially nice lyric when you consider that she also writes lyrics like "Her pain is painful" and "I won't spill the milk at dinner" and "UUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHH! UNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHH!" and "This is my Vietnam" where she's talking about, I don't know, having to clean up her room or something.

Sinestro is freed by Dez and Kale and his daughter (whose name nobody uses in the scene so fuck if I can remember it). Dez asks Sinestro if Sinestro didn't release Parallax because he was afraid Mongul would drain it. Before Sinestro answers, he pauses one full, silent panel because he can't believe one of his recruits had the gall to ask Sinestro if he was afraid. Luckily Sinestro doesn't kill him because Dez is probably the only character in the Sinestro Corps besides Arkillo whose name I can always remember.

Sinestro reverses the ring siphon, frees Lyssa, and shoots Mongul off into space surrounded by a field of fear. The Apex League follow after because Sinestro tells them The Paling will be lured to Mongul's fear. As if Sinestro knows anything about The Paling. But the Apex League follow after Mongul because they're idiots who forgot that they were looking for help to defeat The Paling and weren't actually interested in confronting The Paling without extra help. And they weren't about to keep Warworld since Sinestro decided to lay claim to it. Warworld is a good base for the Sinestro Corps. Now they've got a mobile headquarters just like the Green Lanterns! Maybe Mogo and Warworld will fall in love and have a litter of asteroids.

Sinestro #11 Rating: No change. This comic book falls into the category of unrateable, at least by me. It might be the kind of comic book some people like but it doesn't do anything for me. It actually does a lot of things I don't like: omniscient narration boxing by characters that aren't omniscient, every character is an arrogant blowhard, a female character that is more powerful and has more personality than the main male character but somehow falls under his thrall and accepts a position as part of the supporting cast, Cullen Bunn on writing duties. The list just goes on and on! I mean, that was the whole list but it felt like it went on and on. Especially as I sat here trying to come up with enough reasons to show why I dislike this comic book instead of just saying, "I don't like this comic book for reasons." Or I could have just said, "I can't even." Less words is better! And if they're misspelled and in all-caps? EVNE BETTRERER!