Saturday, April 6, 2013

Talon #6


This cover is like seeing a trailer for a movie that spoils the ending.

It's not like the cover actually spoils anything. The first six issues of Talon (including the Zero Issue) can be summed up easily enough in two phrases: The Court of Owls and Death-Defying Escapes. So the fact that Issue Six is going to feature another death-defying escape from the Court of Owls is only going to be a shock for those people with no long-term memory. Possibly the only thing that surprises me each month is that Talon's name is Calvin Rose because fuck everything if I can every remember that.

Does that phrase make any sense? "Fuck everything if I can remember Calvin Rose's name"? Because interestingly enough, I did remember his name this time! So that means everything must now be fucked. Get to work. You have sex with the stuff in your residence and I'll get to fucking the stuff in mine. Although when I look at the things sitting on my desk, I'm not too sure I'll be in any condition to fuck anything else after I'm through with the pencil sharpener and the aerosol can of air for cleaning dust out of computer keyboards.

Last issue ended with Calvin Rose trapped in a cage being taunted by three generations of Talons outside the cage. I think the oldest Talon is supposedly the Grand Master Ultimate Taloniest Talon of them all. At least none of them are The Butcher of Gotham. I think he'll be waiting for Calvin after Calvin, exhausted and wounded, climbs out of Gotham Bay after his death-defying escape.

After reading the first page, I think I need to make a correction. John Wycliffe is the Grandmaster of the Court of Owls and he's inside the building. So he's not a Talon. He's just a really dangerous man, I guess. Perhaps he's really dangerous because he's so important that he has three generations of Talons guarding him.


This escape has been my favorite part of this entire series so far. Very cleverly done. I particularly like how the two Talons tied together just get dragged back up into the reset trap.

After stabbing Grandpa in the throat, Calvin skedaddles down the tunnel. Of course the knife doesn't stop the Talon for long since these stupid creatures can survive anything except choking on an ice cube. Grandpa cuts the other Talons down and they decide to let Calvin go. They expect he'll drown soon when the turbines come back online and the tunnels once again fill up with water. Even though Grandpa Talon refers to Calvin Rose as an Escapist just prior to the plan that revolves around Calvin not being able to escape the influx of water. Talons are so stupid.

Baby Talon knows better though! He rushes off to prove himself to Grandpa and Daddy Talon. But even though he shows some initiative, Grandpa Talon still calls him an idiot. That Baby Talon really needs to think long and hard about whether his family is really worth his time. Baby Talon does catch up with Calvin but only seconds before a huge wall of water smashes into them.

Meanwhile Casey is beginning to get suspicious of Old Man Sebastian Clark. It's about time! That guy is a manipulative jerk. I'm pretty sure he simply wants to figure out how the Talons live forever so he can save himself. Everything else he's told Calvin is probably just a bunch of half-truths and full lies. But Casey will figure out the truth! Probably.

And I guess it's time for Baby Talon to start that long, hard think about his fucked-up family!


It's time for Baby Talon to become a real boy.

I'm really curious about Batman's policy on killing Talons. I'm pretty sure when he was fighting for his life on The Night of the Talons, he was doing his best to kill as many of them as possible. Or did he simply not care how much damage he did to them because he knew they would heal? Whether or not he killed any that night, I still wonder what his policy would be. The Talons talk and act like living people. So Batman shouldn't use any of the freezing means that would kill them. Or does Batman have a different policy for people that have already died and been brought back to life. What's the difference between a Talon and Deadshot now? If Batman can kill a Talon, can he also kill Deadshot or Regulus or Jason Todd since they've been reanimated? What about sentient aliens? I'm not sure if Batman is allowed to kill those or not. What about Chinese people? Where is his line?!

I think the only solid Batman Title I ever read before The New 52 was Shadow of the Bat, so I don't know the really in-depth details on his ethics. I'm sure any good Comic Book Lawyer could point to precedents from different story lines that really flesh out the limits of Batman's penchant for violence. But I am not one of those. I'd like to be one of those for Reboot history but I can't even remember if Batman killed any Talons! I guess if they're technically unkillable (short of exploding their head with an icicle), he didn't kill any. But I do know he held back against the Rock Creatures from the Peraxxus story arc in Justice League International until Rocket Red determined they were non-sentient. And Batman isn't a vegetarian, is he? So if Batcow turned evil and came at him, it would be okay to kill Batcow, right? But what about an evil organization of Dolphins? Does that become a judgment call?

Meanwhile the Gotham Butcher is hanging out outside the apartments of the people he murdered when he notices Batman swinging along to investigate. He wants his turn to kill Batman since he was inexplicably left out during the Night of the Talons. He might not even know about the Night of the Talons since he was still sleeping in his grave. But now he knows about Batman for some reason. Perhaps when the Talons are awakened, they get a quick lesson on Gotham History from the time they were put in the ground to the present. Or maybe even the dead know the Goddamned Batman.

Speaking of dead Talons, I might have to reread all of that Court of Owls stuff since I'm still unsure why Talons "die" and then are retired to make way for a new living Talon. If they're so powerful and immortal once they come back from the dead, why not just use the zombie Talon in the first place instead of training a new one? I don't remember how that was explained. It's possible the Court of Owls had the technology to keep Talons in a kind of suspended state but lacked the precise technology to bring them back. That might be Mr. Freeze's whole connection to the Zombie Talon nonsense. Perhaps it was only recently that the Court could bring the Talons back. This stuff seems too important to the overall story to not have been explained, so I'm just going to blame my poor memory on not knowing and wait for a Grandmaster Comic Book Reader to explain it to me in the Comments.

The Gotham Butcher really, really wants to kill Batman. But the Court of Owls tell him to stand down or else they'll blow some Cryobombs they planted right behind his eyes that will put him down for good. The Butcher is not very happy about this situation and decides to do something about it.


He really, really, REALLY wants to kill Batman.

Back in the flooded tunnels of Securitus's Flooded Tunnel Level, Baby Talon brings back a seemingly unconscious Calvin Rose to take to the Grandmaster. I would suspect this trick might work if Grandpa Talon didn't already assume Baby Talon was a complete screw-up. But since Grandpa Talon thinks Baby Talon is a fucking jerk, the first thing I would expect Grandpa Talon to do is assume the only way Baby Talon could capture Calvin Rose was if Baby Talon was thinking about betraying them and it was a big trick. But Daddy Talon is pretty proud, so even though Grandpa Talon doesn't quite believe it, he lets it go. FOR NOW!

I suppose Calvin is hoping to get in the inner sanctum and blow up his bomb to wipe Securitus of all of its information. But once he finds his way up and gets a meeting with John Wycliffe, he gets some information that ruffles his feathers. At the same moment back at Sebastian's Compound, Casey Washington has been snooping about and discovers the same information that Calvin just received.


Whoops!

Talon #6 Rating: +2 Ranking. Okay, now I'm interested. It's been obvious for awhile that Sebastian wasn't who he said he was. From the start, nothing was adding up. But I just didn't think he might be the guy responsible for fucking up the entire Court by going after Batman and then killing a bunch of his own Court afterward. This is why I should pay more attention even when paying attention is asking way too much from me! I mean, really, more Court of Owls' stories? I've been half-asleep while reading most of these. But I like the idea of the Gotham Butcher going rogue after pulling the bombs out from behind his own eyes. And Batman does need to get more involved in this comic simply because it takes place in Gotham and Batman should really be paying close attention to any hint of Court activity. Unless Batman, like me, is just sick and tired of the Court of Owls. That could explain why he hasn't been trying too hard to uncover the remnants of the organization.

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