Batwing #19

See, Dave? That's the armor you should have been wearing all along! It's very slimming.

This issue begins with David telling Batman that he's quitting Batman Incorporated.

Batman: "What do you mean you quit?"
David Zavimbe: "Africa isn't like Gotham, Batman. People here just aren't afraid of bats."
Batman: "You're just not being scary enough. Are you screaming, 'Eee! Eee! Eee!', as you descend on them?"
David: "It's not just that, Batman. Nobody respects the police force either."
Batman: "Are you freakin' kidding?! That's exactly like Gotham!"
David: "People I love are dying."
Batman: "You did hear about Robin, right? It happens! You just have to get right back on the bat-cycle!"
David: "The suit makes me look fat."
Batman: "Yeah, I didn't want to say anything. Well, good luck being a nobody!"

The main reason David seems to want to quit is not that the suit makes him look fat but that the criminals in Tinasha and the Democratic Republic of Congo need to be killed and not just arrested. Members of Batman Incorporated are not allowed to kill. They also have to be careful about their Tweets and Facebook Status Updates. The last thing Batman Incorporated needs is an image problem.

The next scene takes place five days prior to the quitting Batman scene. Batwing has decided to hunt down Dawn and ask her why she suddenly changed personalities so quickly after nearly being killed by Father Loost. Batwing isn't aware that the writers had changed in the middle of the story, so he's still really confused. But now the writer has changed again and Batwing is demanding answers.

She should make some magic swords and gut him!

Dawn doesn't put up much of a fight. Probably because she has brain damage after being punched in the face by Batwing while he's wearing his battle armor. She gives up Ancil's location and then Batwing flies off expecting Dawn to retire and go back to the good rebel girl she was when Winick was writing her.

The second title (I guess this comic book is too good to have just the first title, "A Season of Change") is Tying Up Loose Ends. I'm pretty sure that's what Palmiotti and Gray are doing so they can get around to writing about the new Batwing. Tie up some plot threads, let David leave Batman's shadow, and send him on his way as a vigilante willing to kill to change things. I don't think Batman knows that's David's plan when he quits or else Batman might have had harsher words than "think about it."

And then the comic book gets an actual title: "The End of the Beginning"! I don't know what those other large blocks of text were! Maybe it's a secret code! I'll wait until I have all the phrases before I crack it. I'm on the case!

Using Dawn's information, Batwing smashes through the wall of Ancil's safehouse to find him in the process of killing another woman. The kid taunts Batwing and Batwing just takes it because if he kills someone while wearing the Bat Symbol, he'll never be invited to another Wayne Charity Event ever again. And if there's one place a single gay African male can really find a bunch of hot guys to nail while chugging champagne and caviar, it's at a Wayne Charity Ball. The Bat Symbol must remain pure! So instead of killing the kid, Batwing just slightly incapacitates Ancil.

And partially drowns him as well.

Next Batwing goes after Ancil's dad because Batwing wants to get his hands on the Sky Pirate. Sky Pirate put Batwing's butler, Matu, on death's door and now David has been wearing the same dirty underwear for five days straight. And he hasn't had a decent cup of tea in that time either. And none of the shopping is getting done. And the fucking toilet was clogged three days ago and the Batwing Armor isn't equipped with a plunger. Besides, unclogging toilets is butler and/or sidekick work. So Sky Pirate is going to pay!

Just take off the armor already and get busy on the trail of bodies!

Batwing puts a bunch of bombs on the Storm of Mjolnir. When the Sky Pirate's ship descends on the boat, Batwing hits the trigger and Sky Pirate's ship and the Storm of Mjolnir die as one.

Isn't Batwing at all curious about Sky Pirate's space ship?! I'm finding the lack of curiosity in comic book characters seriously disturbing! That's a huge ship! Where did it come from? Who built it? Why doesn't Batman have one? Instead, Batwing just casually blows it up and then thinks, "I hope the Sky Pirate can swim!" I hope the Sky Pirate was invulnerable! That fucker just blew up and fell out of the sky among burning metal shrapnel! If he didn't die, Batwing just gave him super powers.

Meanwhile at the hospital, David discovers that Matu Ba, his mentor or butler or sidekick or sugar daddy or something, has taken a turn for the worse! What's worse than "at death's door"?

Can Matu go home with this doctor's prescription? "Pray for patient 5 times daily until patient dies."

Before Matu dies, he has one last conversation with David.

Matu: "David, my friend, david."
David: "Matu! I found the Batsuit you saved for me and I almost murdered a bunch of people...well, technically, I did murder a bunch of people but since they were all aboard The Sky Pirate's ship and I didn't have to look them in the eye when I did it, it probably doesn't count. Plus I didn't actually see any bodies or anything but then I did turn around pretty quickly and left the scene before Batman could see me."
Matu: "David...DAVID!"
David: "You're my best friend in the whole world, Matu, and what am I going to do when you die? You didn't even get to be on the cover and nobody was rushing the comic book stores to get the issue where Matu died!"
Matu: "David! David!"
David: "Yes, Matu, yes? Do you have some deathbed wisdom for me? Your final words to carry me forward and dissuade me from the vengeful, murderous path I'm about to go down? What is it, Matu?! What is it?!"
Matu: "I can see your house from here."
EKG: "DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...."

My last words are so going to be the punchline for a joke I never told.

Taking Matu's last words to heart, David calls his partner Kia and tells her he knows where Ancil Marksbury is. They find him tied up in a chair and walk him into police headquarters. David doesn't tell Kia where Sky Pirate is because they'd have to check out the scuba equipment at the station to recover his body. After dumping off Ancil, David quits the police force. He just can't deal with the corruption anymore. He needs to lift the weight of responsibility from his shoulders and live his own quiet life for awhile. But first he has to pretend kiss Kia goodbye.

Ewww! Girls!

After David completely ditches Kia because he needs to stop living a lie and get on with his own life, he goes to speak with the person he really has a crush on: Batman! And that means we're back at the beginning of the comic book where David quits Batman Incorporated. Does that mean I have to go back to page one and keep reading? Am I stuck in a time loop?

David goes off to do his own thing and will probably appear in a New 52 title early next year called "Zavimbe". Batman heads back to Gotham to brag to Alfred about the new and improved and safer Batwing suit. Alfred acts impressed while not quite biting his tongue about safety and Damian and how fucking crazy Bruce is to put another fucking kid in danger with his stupid bat shenanigans?! But at least the next kid Bruce is willing to put in danger is a college graduate and a championship cage fighter. He's also Lucius Fox's son, Luke Fox. So that's probably going to be an issue.

Batwing #19 Rating: No change. Why is Batman so amped up about having a Batwing? What's it to him? How does Bruce Wayne profit from it? Is he using Batwing to model technology that Bruce can then highlight and sell to the military? There has to be some kind of gain from this scheme or Bruce wouldn't bother. He's way more into capitalism than crimefighting.