Team 7 #5

Here we go again! Got a problem? Shoot it in the face! Problem solved!

Spartan has a couple of pouches on his belt, so I'm guessing he's from the Wildstorm Universe. I'm also guessing that the guy with the pouches on his belt is Spartan! I don't know who the red head is. Maybe it's Barbara Gordon's mother? Whoever it is, my guess is she's part of Team 7's second mission!

The issue begins by informing the reader that the location of the story is The Pacific and the time it takes place is Now. But what does it mean by now? Does that mean concurrent with the other New 52 stories that came out this week? Or does that mean five or more years ago when Team 7 began? These out of time stories are confusing. Since the next page shows Deathstroke infiltrating the ship flying over the Pacific, my guess is that this story actually takes place now. Problem solved and I didn't have to shoot it in the face!

Deathstroke shoots a bunch of problems and then encounters John Lynch who decides they should talk about the past! But the flashback sequence doesn't have either of them in it, so I don't know why they're reminiscing about it. Perhaps it's because Caitlin Fairchild as a teenager is in it and she's working on cybernetics for Team 7. Perhaps they both had illegal crushes on her. Unless she was eighteen. I bet she was eighteen since five years later she'd be twenty three and that seems about the right age for the young Ravagers to think of her as an old person.

Also in their flashback is Dr. Henshaw working on some guy they call Spartan. He seems to be a robot but I don't know where he came from. They don't seem to completely understand how he works, so I don't think they created him. And everybody keeps dropping Dr. Stone's name as well. Maybe Spartan is a Cyborg prototype.

Slade and Alex Fairchild have a bit of an intimate chat over beer. Nobody gets shot. Then Black Canary confronts John Lynch about what the fuck he means to do with Team 7 besides get them killed.

This is his answer. Stop jerks from using kids that can mutilate other kids as weapons.

So John Lynch began Team 7 because he was afraid of people with super powers. No wait! That's not true! He began Team 1 because he was afraid of people with super powers! But I guess everyone in Team 1 died just like Black Canary is afraid is going to happen to her and her teammates. She has a right to be worried though, right?! They are Team 7! Lynch has managed to kill six other whole teams! But what Black Canary is really worried about is that Lynch has begun experimenting on the members of Team 7 in Project Majestic. He's changing them and giving them super powers so that they can effectively combat super powered threats. That's probably a good idea seeing as how they only had bullets on their first mission and those weren't very effective.

The last part of their memory was about Caitlin Fairchild walking in on the cybernetic lab to find that it was changing everyone into cyborgs. Or Spartan was changing everyone into cyborgs. Something was changing everything into cyborgs, anyway! Since the cover declares Spartan was attacking, my guess is he's the one changing everybody.

And then it's back to the present where Deathstroke tries to solve his John Lynch problem the only way members of Team 7 know how! Remember? We've been over this a few times already!

Did Caitlin die? Is the current Caitlin Fairchild a clone? Is that what the Gen 13 project was all about? Clones? Seriously. I don't know! I never read Gen 13!

Whatever happened long ago, whatever possibly killed Caitlin, also killed an entire country, according to Lynch. I don't know what country. Probably Markovia or some other made up DC country. But whatever did it (Spartan, probably!), it's coming back and Lynch needs Deathstroke to help stop it. So I guess next issue will tackle Slade killing it in the present and Team 7 getting their asses kicked by it in the past.

Team 7 #5 Rating: -1 Ranking. I just found this entire issue rather boring. I think I lost interest in Team 7 three issues ago!