Stormwatch #14

Apollo Unleashed? Erotic!

Last issue, Etrigan made his first current appearance in The New 52. And I can't wait to see what becomes of him. I hope he gets his own title in the Fourth Wave!

Etrigan is much stronger than I expected because he seems to have killed Midnighter with a simple backhand from last issue. Or maybe Midnighter and/or Apollo are better actors than I realized. It's not like I automatically assumed that they regularly took part in a community theater program. Well, maybe Apollo. But Midnighter is way too busy pretending to be Batman. Oh wait! That's acting!

I'm also a bit distracted while trying to read about Etrigan's reminiscence of his revolution in Hell because of an advert for the Red Hood and the Outlaws Trade Paperback.

All this tells me is that Popmatters will say anything and flush its dignity and respectability as a reviewer down the toilet simply to get a mention in a DC Comic book. Respectability. A small price to pay as a reviewer. Listen to a real literature guy with a stupid degree and everything: Red Hood and the Outlaws is HORRIBLE.

Anyway. See how literary I am? What a great fucking segue back into the action! Midnighter is down and unconscious and he probably seems dead because he can probably slow his breathing and his heartbeat way down to recover from blows like the one Etrigan gave him. And Apollo may have some pretty good fire power (especially when he's unleashed) but he's really no match for a guy that can spit hellfire.

So backup arrives.

Midnighter groggily gets to his feet because he wasn't dead. Surprise! But he also didn't do anything special to seem dead. It's just that Apollo is an idiotic drama queen.

By talking to the city, Jack Hawksmoor learns that Madame Xanadu was behind Etrigan's imprisonment and that the Demon Knights were somehow involved. So now he knows that Etrigan is one of Stormwatch's ancient enemies. Okay, so he knows something that is wrong. But it wouldn't be totally incorrect to refer to Etrigan as "Stormwatch's Frenemy," right? Especially now that Etrigan woke up so grumpy.

At least Etrigan will be sticking around in his new mortal home, the sensitive guy that draws crayon pictures.

Throughout the battle, The Engineer continued to act bitchy and on edge. She expects Jenny Quantum to keep up a dark radiation shield that will end up giving everyone in the area cancer but Jenny refuses. After the battle, she forbids any relationships between members of Stormwatch or she'll report it to the Shadow Lords. She also finds some old files on Etrigan in the system but all of the files are locked, something she's never encountered before. So that's not going to make her any easier to be around. And to top it all off, Harry Tanner has infiltrated the Shadow Lords as The Fourth Man and convinced them to fuck with Stormwatch in some way that won't be revealed until next issue.

And finally, the issue ends with a little soap opera drama.

If the soap opera took place in Arkham Asylum. "Crazy Days and Psycho-erotic Nights."

Stormwatch #14 Rating: No change. What started out as the exciting return of Etrigan simply petered out this issue. His return to the current DCnU accomplished, he simply was chased away to inhabit a new non-Jason Blood body. The Shadow Lords story moved forward a bit and more drama took hold of the relationship between Apollo and Midnighter. I'm not sure how Apollo could really argue with this development though. He had to have noticed that he's in love with a violently psychotic homocidesexual.