Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Batman and Robin #14


I have no idea what's going on here. Are the zombies from last issue equipped with Joker joke chattering teeth?

I can't stop staring at this cover. I want to say something about it but I can't. It has me mesmerized. It's oddly one of the most disturbing comic cover images I can currently recall. It shouldn't be! I'm sure that's just a toy, right? But why all the blood? Probably because Batman and Robin is still the bloodiest comic in The New 52. But what's with the kryptonite barbell? Or is that just some kind of gag so the toy teeth don't go on a further rampage?

Maybe those were the teeth that bit off Alfred's ear?!

Last issue, Gotham City was under attack by zombies during an eclipse. Is this eclipse going to be important over in The Black Diamond Probability crossover? Why even ask that stupid question? Of course it is!

Batman is currently swinging around Gotham tranquilizing all of the so-called zombies. They're definitely living people that didn't crawl out of the graves he investigated earlier. Robin discovers the bodies from the graves later that night when he's kidnapped by the hungry people acting like zombies. They're piled up in the sewers. Looks like The Saturn Club wants people to think zombies have risen from their graves while they rob a bank or something. Maybe devour all of Gotham's children.


Does Robin have permission to kill people who try to eat him?

The Saturn Club members are kidnapping people so they can drink their blood and live forever. That's why they all keep chanting, "Eat to live." Robin manages to cause a diversion and escape with all of the kidnapped citizens. The whole time, Batman is trying to contact Damian but Damian doesn't respond because he's a little busy saving lives.

At this point, poor Robin can't win. He was supposed to remain at home since Leviathan still has the bounty out on his head, so Batman is going to be pissed to find out he took off to search the sewers with his metal detector. And now he isn't responding to Batman's messages which probably pisses the Bat off to no end. So even if Robin saves every single person in Gotham, he's still going to get a stern lecture from Batman about everything he did wrong while not getting a single warm fuzzy from Batman about what he did right. Normally Alfred would be there to lend an ear but he currently doesn't have any to spare! Also, he's not around because he's helping out with The Joker's party for Batman.

Batman finally catches up to Robin and the Saturn Club zombies.


That's an encouraging sign! He's not telling him to go to his room.

After they incapacitate all of the drugged out zombie people, Batman tells Damian the results of the analysis he ran on the victims. They were drugged by The Joker. The Joker is behind this whole Saturn Club romp which made Batman worry even more that Damian had allowed himself to be taken.

I wonder if Tomasi had already been working on this story when he was informed he was going to have to write to The Death of the Family crossover so he just changed the ending of his Saturn Club story to fit it in. Perhaps he wasn't sure if he might be crossing over with The Black Diamond Probability as well and that's why the whole thing began with an eclipse! So the leader of the Saturn Club could have been The Joker or Eclipso or a completely different, maybe new, threat! Whatever the case, the whole incident gives Batman time to discuss his feelings with Damian.


Don't worry, Batman. DC knows better than to trust a character's life to the fans ever again.

This is usually where Alfred stops shoveling Batcow manure and clears his throat and motions to Batman to hug his fucking kid. Since Alfred isn't here, Batman has to remember that family really matters by finding his mother's pearl sitting on the console of the bat computer. Hmm, I wonder who could have left that there after doing the dusting? The gentle nudge makes Bruce remember what's important and grounding Damian and making him feel bad isn't it.


The Joker's right. Batman is getting fucking soft.

Normally this would bode poorly for Damian! He's getting what he needs from his father just as The Joker is coming to town to tear the Bat Family apart. In most literature, Damian would be a walking corpse at this point. All the signs point to his death. But even Robin is too important to Grant Morrison's Batman Incorporated so nobody is getting the go ahead to kill the little twerp.

Batman and Robin #14 Rating: No change. This story really did feel like the ending pulled a big editorial switcheroo and ended up in a place it had no intention of going. I'm not judging the story for that; it was fine for what it was. But like last issue, it wasn't really anything of note. If Damian is killed by The Joker, I'll edit this and give the comic a +2 since that ending scene screams, "Damian is going to die!" But come on! Who really thinks anything like that would happen?
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5 comments:

  1. Mr. Morbid's House Of FunNovember 22, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    I think in this case, Batman really does need to soften up and actually show his son more affection than he has. Sure he's not the best father-figure around, and even taking his origin into consideration, his parents loved him and didn't abuse him, so he should have the capacity to show love more. Again, especially to his own flesh and blood. Batman's no dummy, so he should also know showing Damien some actual love and affection would go a long ways to keep him from potentially turning out evil in the end. And yes, Morrison's future for Damien be damned. he could still become evil, so keep making w/ the hugs Bruce. The life you save, could be your own down the line.

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    1. LizardNovember 22, 2012 at 2:01 PM

      Sometimes I get caught up in my own fantastic narrative jokes and miss the shit I'm supposed to be playing close attention to while reading. A reader over on the Tumblr half of this blog pointed out Damian put the pearl down to show to Batman that he does care about other people. That's what Damian has been searching for in the sewers. But I was so wrapped up in making Alfred jokes (and reading the comic in a less than appropriately lit room), I missed that Robin's gloved hand set Batman's mom's pearl down on the console to get Batman all soft and gooey.

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  2. Mr. Morbid's House Of FunNovember 23, 2012 at 8:28 AM

    Aww, that puts a whole new spin on things then. Either Damien cleverly did that to manipulate his way out of further lecturing and for a free(and well-deserved, long overdue hug)or it was done in a sincere way as an act of love. Either way, if Bruce found this out, and he probably will later down the line, he should at least appreciate the craftiness and manipulation skills that come from both sets of parents.

    But yeah, that revelation definitely re-defines that whole scene now. Dammit, I may actually have to buy this one, as I recently bought Batman#14 as well, since that was really more of a bad-ass set up issue than you kind of reviewed. But don't worry, you still me go-to guy for these hilarious reviews:)

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    1. LizardNovember 23, 2012 at 9:15 AM

      If you read the comic and read my commentary, you'll often realize how far off the mark I go when discussing the comic. Many times it may even sound like I hate the comic when I might have actually enjoyed it. But that's because I'm not actually reviewing the comics and trying to get people to buy or not buy them (DO NOT BUY GREEN ARROW!), I'm just doing them for my own amusement (and my friend Doom Bunny!) and to help me remember what the hell is going on from month to month.

      If other people enjoy them, well, that's why they're on the internet! That part about them being for my own amusement was a lie.

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  3. Mr. Morbid's House Of FunNovember 24, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    Ha,ha, yeah I tell myself that one when posting skits on my blog as well. "I'm only doing it for myself, but if other people like 'em, that's a plus." Hey, if we didn't totally care about the potential feedback from others, then we'd get bored doing what we do. Or at least I would.

    And based off your reviews, I wouldn't want to buy any Green Arrow comics either. You know things are fucked up, when the TV show's a helluva a lot better than the actual comic that it's based off.

    I still think it's a fucking shame about the whole reboot, especially the gross mis-characterizations that plague it and the characters Dildo and co. claim are being refreshed by it. That's all bullshit, because I have yet to really read the current versions sounding or acting anything even remotely like their pre-reboot counterparts. They've all(with the exception of Batman and GL) lost the very vital things that endeared us to them in the first place, and yet mostly that's been glossed over in favor of sales figures.

    All I can say is, thank god for back issues and trades to remind us all of a better time.

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