Legion of Super-heroes #13

Nobody believes it's his last stand at all. Nobody.

I don't know where Legion of Super-heroes last left off. I don't think there was a cliffhanger. I believe they had just wrapped up their rescue of Braniac 5 and Dream Girl from the planet Dominatrix. Other loose plot threads that I can remember: someone is trying to recreate the Fatal Five; some sun worshiping something thing is supposed to happen at Stonehenge (perhaps this is about the Fatal Five as well since I know nothing about them); Brainiac 5 needs to replace Mon-el as Captain of the Legion; probably a bunch of love interest drama.

This issue begins with Chemical Kid (catalyses chemical reactions (stupid!)), Element Lad (transmutes shit (powerful!)), and Cosmic Boy (magnetic manipulation (super powerful but way less cool than Magneto)) doing something on an asteroid mine somewhere in the 31st Century. A few miners are gathered behind them wearing spacesuits while the Legion kids are completely exposed to the vacuum or the low atmosphere on the surface of the asteroid. Do the Legion Flight Rings also protect them in from the dangers of deep space? There's so much I need to learn about these clever kids!

The title of this issue is "Questions." Dammit! I was hoping for "Answers."

Element Lad explains what's going on.

Isn't that just semantics? Raiders? Pirates?

They stop the pirates because the pirates weren't the main antagonists in the story. They were just the initial threat to begin the comic in the middle of some action. But they don't stop the threat without some minor casualties as Element Lad's arm is injured.

This stupid power takes too much homework.

Back on Earth, some subplots are developing! Brainiac 5 (12th Level Intelligence (whatever the fuck that means)), Bouncing Boy (inflation and bouncing (basically a one-trick ghetto Plastic Man)), and Duplicate Damsel (can split into multiple bodies (ethical and philosophical problems up the proverbial yin-yang with this one)) are discussing Comet Queen (space flight and comet gas extrusion (hunh?)) as she lie in stasis due to her betrayal of the team on planet Dominatrix. Brainiac 5 wants to keep the team safe while he tries to figure out why she did what she did. Duplicate Damsel thinks Brainiac 5 is a complete dick for keeping Comet Queen in stasis. Maybe Duplicate Damsel should create a more rational version of herself for this conversation. Sheesh. It's not like he's keeping her in constant pain or threatening her life. She's just down for an extended nap so she doesn't cause any more trouble.

Duplicate Damsel storms out and runs into Dream Girl (precognition (she can dream the future! Unless her dream is just a dream and not the future which probably happens more often than not. I think a lot of resources are wasted trying to determine if each night's dream was a vision of the future or just nonsense)) who decides Legion needs some more romantic subplots.

With a cast this big, romantic subplots don't have time to develop organically. Levitz just has to wedge them in with a full page of explication when he needs more high school drama.

Maybe Duplicate Damsel doesn't know she has feelings for Brainiac 5 because it's one of her other duplicates that wants to fuck his 12th Level brains out. Perhaps the consciousness of all of her duplicates remain intact as part of her own subconscious mind. That would really explain why she acts so irrationally in the earlier page. I don't know if she always acts like that. Perhaps it's always been part of her character. I would really like that if Duplicate Damsel's subconscious was just a chaotic mix of all of her duplicates thoughts, feelings, and experiences they had while manifested. So Duplicate Damsel wouldn't have any knowledge of the things they did while separate from her. But she's still retain all of their emotions beneath the surface of her conscious thought. This would make her a complete mess yet she wouldn't know why. The only real relief she would have would be letting out her duplicates and removing their thoughts from her subconscious. But then they'd be free to build up more experiences and emotions to bring back to her mind and fuck her up even more.

Back at the asteroid, Chemical Kid, Cosmic Boy, and Element Lad have chased down some of the pirates that got away. And they answer my question about the Flight Ring!

I wonder if Chemical Kid uses his powers to make other Legion members gassy and farty?

Kid, Boy, and Lad act like this is going to be nothing more than clean-up until Cosmic Boy's magnetic powers are repelled by a magnetic field around the ship they're after. Cosmic Boy's sproing gets sproinged right back at him.

Back on Earth, Mon-el (basically Superman) and a bunch of other Legion members continue to look into the reemergence of the Fatal Five.

Back in space, Cosmic Boy discovers the pirates he's fighting are from Braal like he is. This explains the magnetic resistance.

It also answers one of my main Legion questions: Which Legion members have actual super powers and which ones abilities belong to their entire race? Now I know Cosmic Boy is nothing special!

Cosmic Boy gets knocked unconscious while Element Lad and Chemical Kid get to work on disabling the ships. These two seem like an unstoppable team. They should just leave Legion and go to work as the 31st Century Dynamic Duo. Element Lad just transmutes stuff into the chemical make-up of an explosive and then Chemical Kid catalyses it and makes it explode. They can do all sorts of good things too! They could probably stop droughts and famines. I think they might be able to take over the universe! Who needs Cosmic Boy? He's not even special!

But apparently he's a friend, so Element Lad lets the raiders get away while he saves Cosmic Boy's life. I guess the raiders were the main antagonists! Unless Chemical Kid's lack of confidence was the big enemy this issue. Anyway, they'll have to go after the raiders next issue since they need to take Cosmic Boy to the hospital between issues.

And apparently DC wants the fans to vote for the next leader of the Legion of Super-heroes! Except DC only accepts ballots by mail. Seriously? A letter?! People still do that shit?

Can I vote for Chlorophyll Kid?

Legion of Super-heroes #13 Rating: +1 Ranking. You know what? I'm going to throw this group a bone. The comic was well-paced and not confusing. I still don't know a lot about these kids and lads and damsels and girls and boys and crap, but at least they're dealing with problems that began during the Reboot's run. It wasn't fantastic and I still wouldn't be reading this as a regular title if I weren't reading them all but it's so far down the charts that I don't mind giving it a boost for not being terrible. The art wasn't very good though. It was actually on par with what I can draw!