Batman Incorporated #0

Batman Incorporated is one of the few DC properties that I don't know anything about. I wasn't reading comics when it began and so far I've only read three comics dealing with it. And it hasn't actually dealt with Batman Incorporated at all! There was that one moment in the sex shop basement headquarters in San Francisco and that's about it. So now Batman had better explain how this all came about so I'll be able to lord my supreme comic book knowledge over all the lowly normals. Normals are people that don't read comic books. Did that need explaining? I'm not sure that needed explaining.

Really, Bruce? You're not even trying to keep your secret identity secret anymore.

Perhaps this building was built with Batman in mind being that everyone seems to know that Bruce Wayne helps fund Batman. It always seemed to me that keeping the names Bruce Wayne and Batman separate would be the best way to go. But I guess tying them together doesn't hurt the secret identity because of little tricks like what Bruce pulls in the boardroom. Batman and Robin appear to arrest one of the board members for embezzlement and general bad guyery during the meeting. Afterward, Batman introduces his new idea: Batman, Incorporated! Wayne Enterprises will help fund Batmen types all across the world and make every city as safe as Gotham!

The first step: Batman Robot Armor!

As you can see on the far right, it's very important that the armor be limber enough to high five in.

Step two: Recruit bad ass motherfuckers!

Squire doesn't exactly scream "bad ass motherfucker."

The next member of the team is an Australian tattoo art....

Is it Didgeridoom?! Tell me it's Didgeridom!

Ahem. An Australian tattoo artist named Dark Ranger. Or maybe The Scout. Whoever he was, Batman wants him on the team. Knight leaves a phone with him so he can get in contact with Squire if he agrees. That sounds about right. Squire mans the phones.

Paris gets a guy named Nightrunner on the team. Russia gets an Armored Batman named Ravil. And Dark Ranger wants to join but believes he was at fault for his partner being killed. His partner was Dark Ranger. So maybe he was Scout, his sidekick at the time. Everything seems to revolve around something called the Club of Heroes and the Island of Mr. Mayhew. I'm sure a lot of this crap happened in the Preboot Batman Incorporated. But I can pretend it's all just made up history and this is the first time I'm hearing about any of it.

Batman also offers a full time position to Batman Japan. Batman Japan makes a joke which Knight and Squire touched on earlier as well.

I guess the shrink ray thing is an inside joke.

He also strong arms El Gaucho into working for him, another guy I know nothing about. El Gaucho doesn't seem too impressed until he sees Looker and Halo standing around in a Batman Incorporated hideout. And then that's pretty much it. A comic just showing him pulling together a bunch of members. Now I just need to see these members in action! So far in the New 52, Batman Incorporated has simply been another Batman and Robin title.

Batman Incorporated #0 Rating: Member Drivalicious.