Earth 2 #0

Nine years ago, the armies of Apokolips arrived on Earth 2. Earth 2's defenders at the time were Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, and Terry Sloan, the world's smartest man. How does one become the world's Smartest Man? I suppose you simply declare yourself the smartest man on Earth. I guarantee that Earth 2 didn't have some kind of contest to discover who was the smartest person on it. My guess is Terry Sloan is a pretty smart guy with a lot of ambition and a shit ton of self-promotion. But that doesn't make him the smartest man in the world!

When Mister Terrific arrived on Earth 2 in Issue #2, he was instantly captured by Earth 2's smartest man? Was it Terry Sloan? Probably since this issue begins with him at odds with Batman.

Smartest Man on Earth and he's tangling with Batman? I don't think so!

Portions of Earth's population have been mesmerized by Darkseid's anti-life equation.

So how are they any different from the non-anti-life masses?

Batman and Mr. 8, otherwise known as Terry Sloan, the Smartest Man on Earth 2, are on the case. Also fighting against Darkseid are Superman, Wonder Woman, Robin, Supergirl, Catwoman, and a mystery hero. Mr. 8 has discovered a portal to a mystery dimension which has somehow helped the heroes to keep the war at a stalemate.

Mr. 8 has developed a plan which involves driving Superman insane with his newly synthesized Opal Kryptonite.

The main difference between Earth One and Earth Two is the size of Wonder Woman's boobs. All other differences stem from that.

While the rest of the heroes are fighting to free the anti-life equationed people, Mr. 8 realizes the hard truth of what must be done. The enthralled nations must simply be destroyed so that they do not cripple the free nations and supply Apokolips with mesmerized troops. With Superman insane and fighting Wonder Woman, Batman is the only hope of stopping Mr. 8. And he fails with his last chance Batball explosive. Mr. 8 pushes a button and blows a half dozen nations off the face of the globe.

Every time I try to type Mr. 8, I first end up typing Mr. * which is appropriate since he's turned out to be a complete asshole.

Mr. 8 escapes into the Ninth Dimension, a place where he can see alternate futures and possibilities. He believes he knows what to do to save the world and he's going to do it no matter what the cost. He's basically Earth 2's version of Ozymandias. His kidnapping of Mister Terrific in Issue #2 must be for a good reason even if he goes about everything the wrong way. He's a believer in the ends justifying the means. Or the means justifying the ends. Or the ends meaning justification for the beginnings. Whatever.

Earth 2 #0 Rating: Adrian Veidtastic!