Stormwatch #12

Oh, here's Martian Manhunter's spotlight issue! They're going to spotlight how much of a dangerous asshole he is!

Stormwatch has been one of the few comics in The New 52 to really do a good job at telling bite sized stories while building up a lot of history for the team. Other comics have either jumped directly into long story arcs which was good if the story was focused (Batman, Wonder Woman) and horrible if the story was just a jumble of confusing fights and no real direction (Teen Titans, Superboy. Heck, I don't even know if those comics were supposed to be telling short, self-contained stories or if they were just wandering around the mall looking for a nice pair of shoes). And now it's time for a Martian Manhunter story!


The issue begins with Martian Manhunter trying to erase the memory of him working with Stormwatch from Jenny Quantum's head. It's not going so well since Jenny Quantum has a whole bunch of powers that can't be defined since they use physics and technologies not yet invented. Plus because she's a squirmy, mouthy teenaged girl.

I wonder if J'onn still loves Oreos.

While J'onn is busy erasing memories, the rest of Stormwatch is busy dealing with thousands of Nefertiti busts invading Earth. Nobody knows where they came from but they seem to be destroying Paris (underneath the Eiffel Tower, of course!), flashing people in Rio de Janeiro, and walkabouting in the Australian Outback.

J'onn appears to Midnighter and Apollo next. Of course Midnighter notices something is up almost immediately. He mind zaps Apollo easily since Apollo is so trusting. But he's almost killed by Midnighter before he can erase his memory.

I thought the Martian's evolutionary weak link was fire, not some dumb judo killing cliche!

After J'onn leaves, Apollo and Midnighter continue their conversation where they thought they'd left off. Apollo teases Midnighter about his chin spike and Midnighter somehow keeps from killing Apollo for the insult. I don't know if these guys have even held hands yet. I'm afraid if they show too much affection for each other, a satellite will fall on Apollo and kill Midnighter. That might sound like I made a mistake but it's the only way it could happen. If the satellite fell on Midnighter, he's just get out of the way and survive. But if it falls on Apollo, Midnighter would be able to react to save Apollo at the cost of his own life. So there! Cute E.T.! Wait, that's not right. I have Martian Manhunter on the brain. I meant Q.E.D.!

While Martian Manhunter is trying to teleport to the Eye of the Storm, his flight is diverted to Avalon.

A fourth man? The Fourth Man? Is Stormwatch run by Planetary? Two men and one woman! I'd know for sure if one of them had drumsticks and the other introduced himself as Elijah Snow!

Of course the Shadow Lords run things out of Avalon because Merlin created them. But who are the Shadow Lords and why do they micro-manage Stormwatch? With the missing fourth man and the neanderthals tie-in, I'm really hoping the Shadow Lords are Planetary.

J'onn seems pretty desperate to leave Stormwatch so he can get on with other projects. Perhaps he needs to become the detective John Jones for awhile. Or maybe he just wants to go on a ten year Oreo binge. Whatever it is he needs to do, The Shadow Lords seem to agree. They allow Martian Manhunter to leave Stormwatch but he must promise to do something for them at some point in the future.

Martian Manhunter returns to the Eye of the Storm to mindwipe Angie the Engineer. She's willingly letting him do it because she trusts that he actually has important work to do. She's curious about what he's up to but since she'll only know for a few seconds anyway, J'onn refuses to tell her. He wipes her memory and leaves Stormwatch.

Meanwhile in the Himalayas...

Justice League International is defeated by a dozen busts of Nefertiti.

Guy's theory is just about right. Harry Tanner caused the busts to materialize as a distraction while he raided one of Stormwatch's danger caches. He's turned The Fox into a dimensional gateway that gave him access to the cache. And what he retrieved will allow him to pose as the missing Shadow Lord so he can join the Shadow Council. Since he's the master of lies, I'm guessing this plan could actually work. And once he's infiltrated, he'll take control of the Lords and Stormwatch. At that point, I don't know what his plan is. Just to cause them grief because he hates them all so much?

Martian Manhunter still needs to wipe Harry and The Projectionist's minds, so maybe J'onn will stick around for an issue or two as he hunts them down and helps stop Harry's plan.

Stormwatch #12 Rating: +1 Ranking. J'onn hasn't really fit well on this team. He's really just being used to read minds and Stormwatch can probably find some other character to do that. J'onn's real talents are just being wasted here. I hope he goes on to find his own title in the Fourth Wave of the New 52!