The difference between Batman and Batman: The Dark Knight is I don't know. DC, you have thousands of characters and you were starting 52 new titles. So you needed four about Batman? Not to mention the two Justice Leagues where he'll be playing a critical role. This is one Goddamn busy motherfucker! Batman is so busy I felt it was appropriate to swear.
The cover of this Batman comic is boring. Look! He's swinging from a rope. Straight down into the streets of Gotham! He may, in fact, be falling to his death because his grappling hook didn't hold. Sorry. His Bathook. Or Batgrapple.
If this picture is boring me just by looking at it, how boring was it to draw? Let's find out.
I wonder if DC would give me a job as a cover artist?
That wasn't boring at all! But I bet it's really boring from your end!
Batman: The Dark Knight begins with Batman lecturing about fear. It's some really insightful stuff like "Fear is a cannibal that feeds upon itself." Oh, well that sounds good then! Because the Fear will eventually consume itself and all you'll be left with is bravery!
"It can be in two places at once...on the path ahead yet somehow always behind you."
"Fear hides in every decision, questioning your every move."
"And it's your fault."
Really? My fault? You're terrorizing me with how fear is stalking me and eating itself in my dark corners and it's my fault? Why don't you shut up already, Bruce Wayne, and stop telling me that I'm a big fat coward while telling everyone else that you're a big fat brave bastard! How about losing the billion dollar safety net you were born into!
Oh, oh! I'm sorry! I was starting to get a little harsh there and you did lose your parents and go all crazy and everything. So maybe I should cut you a little slack.
Oh wait. You're not Bruce Wayne. I was under the impression Bruce Wayne was speaking because it was in narration boxes placed strategically around Batman. Hmm. But wait! Your podium says Bruce Wayne! Is this a practical joke? Did someone in the art department give David Finch the wrong picture with which to model Bruce Wayne?
Holy fuck! Are the men in Gotham part fish?
And when did Bruce Wayne begin dating fourteen year olds?!
I am very much not a fan of this style of comic art. The men get lots of lines on the face. The women are smooth and air brushed. It's as if the lighting in Gotham were gender biased.
And about the story. It's another comic that felt like it needed to create some kind of instant conflict. So Gotham Police Department Internal Affairs Guy confronts Bruce Wayne to make the gigantic leap that he's financing Batman. And then he goes a step further and tells a guy who runs an incredibly wealthy and intricate technology company that he doesn't have 'the resources to solve the logistics of financing Batman' and that he must have help internally with the GCPD. Wait. Really? A multibillionaire business man has less ability to finance a vigilante than a bunch of cops? Get out of here! Why don't you just have this jerk accuse Bruce Wayne of being Batman right off the bat! Ugh. I should have said right from the start. But I think I'm supposed to start feeling tension now.
"Oh look! Bruce Wayne is already in trouble with a Gotham City Authority figure! And he doesn't care! But it's going to cause trouble!"
Then this woman shows up because there just hasn't been enough tits and ass yet in this comic:
Whoops. That's my 10 second recreation.
That's the real one. I know, I know. It's hard to tell.
Then there's another panel where Bruce Wayne speaks with this smart and capable business woman but I can't scan it correctly so I'll have to do another artist's interpretation. Especially since image searching for "Batman: The Dark Knight" just gets me crappy shots of people dressed up like Heath Ledger's Joker. But here's what the panel looks like. Sort of:
The only part I messed up on is the lines on her nose. She had no lines like that. The effect the artist had to show her nose had shape and depth was a shiny flare of white down her nose and then actual shadow along the side. As opposed to LINES LINES LINES and LINES!
Either David Finch thinks men look hideous under any kind of lights or else he just can't be bothered to draw men. "Fuck that! I gots to get to drawing some sexy babes!"
I also should have written their actual conversation! It goes like this:
Bruce: "So you're Tom Hudson's daughter? I knew your father just before they made him a diplomatic attache to Mumbai."
Jaina: "You must have been very young."
Bruce: "Flattery will get you everywhere, Miss Hudson. And I've heard your mother is just as beautiful as you."
Jaina: "Ooh. Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Wayne."
Is she stupid? Or is she just, as I did in the panel, basically saying "You can take me now." When she repeats his line, shouldn't she be emphasizing the 'YOU' and not the 'EVERYWHERE'? Doesn't that make more sense?
No, I guess not. I think she really is just emphasizing 'everywhere' so that Bruce will know it's a euphemism for 'my vagina'.
And then suddenly there is a breakout at Arkham. AGAIN! Man, they really need to overhaul the security in that place! I wonder if Snyder and Jenkins/Finch discussed their stories with each other at all. I bet they did and neither one would back down from using the usual riot at Arkham and they just screamed, "Fuck you!" at each other and stormed back to their offices.
This is what the riot at Arkham looked like:
Nearly an exact reprint of the comic.
For some reason, when Batman arrives and starts kicking crazy faces, he asks the guards, "Where's Two-Face?" I don't know why he asks that but then I'm not a detective. Batman probably knows each of the 300 residents they claim are breaking out and he's scanned them all in the two panels he's shown fighting before he realizes Two-Face is the only one missing.
Here's the conversation:
Batman: "Two-Face. Where is he?"
Guard: "Maximum security. H-he didn't come out with the others."
Batman: "Then we go in and find him. Come with me."
Guard: "You heard the man."
See? Even the guards figure Batman must know what he's talking about. I just wish I did! Why, in particular, is he rushing in to find Two-Face? Shouldn't he be worried about all the crazies that are running out the front door right now?
But he before he finds Two-Face, he finds this half-naked rabbit woman who can block bullets with her ass cheeks:
This picture is a bit racier than others you'll find on the net because I wanted it to be sexier.
The Bunny Woman gets away and Batman calls for Two-Face to show himself. His coin bounces into the corridor and there is an explosion and then this ridiculousness happens:
Oh, he's One-Face now. Clever. Or is it?! I think Two-Face might be mainlining whatever that crap is that Bane injected into his body. Or that White Bunny Lady is a total tease and got him all worked up. Maybe calling himself One-Face is a penis joke?
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