The Very Big Cave Adventure

Those must have been some really heady times, those halcyon days of the eighties. When you could write an adventure game and it would be published no matter how poorly thought out it was. Where people were in such need of computer entertainment that they would shell out 8 Pounds for a less than funny parody of the Grandfather of all text games.

Oh, to be a kid back then! When you could write a game where all of the action took place on the surface of Jupiter and nobody seemed to care. When you could insult the player constantly because they can't quite guess the verb to solve the nonsensical puzzle you placed in the first few moves of a game to make the game seem to last longer. When mazes were standard fare and the only thing standing in the way of someone figuring out all of your puzzles in a couple of hours.

"See, what I did here, was I made most of the map available. And you can see there are six main puzzles that the player needs to solve to move on. But! The player can't solve any of these puzzles until he finds all the correct items at the end of this dastardly maze I made where no direction ever takes you to the same place twice and there is only a 1 in 100 chance of finding the correct route!"

Oh, such beauty! Such innocence! No wonder I long to go back and replay all of these horrible, horrible games! Their allure is just too, too sweet.

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