Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Action Comics #1004

"Hey Kal! Stop fucking with the ducks and come rub my feet!" Superman's wife was reported to have said. -- Lois Lane, Daily Planet Op-Ed: "The World Would Be a Safer Place if Superman Rubbed His Wife's Feet More," 08-08-18.

Grade: A. This is my kind of Superman comic book! A comic book where nothing happens. I mean, some things happen. But they're the kinds of things that most people think of as nothing because they don't involve Superman punching an alien menace in the face for twelve pages. This issue does a Superman story perfectly. The problems Superman has trouble dealing with must always be problems that he can't beat into unconsciousness. That's the simple trick of writing good Superman drama. Because he's fucking Superman, we all know he can defeat any criminal at any time without any problem (except Lex Luthor. We easily accept that exception). That's why he had to be killed by Doomsday, a complete unknown. Because fans would have picked apart anybody else killing him (except, again, if it had been Lex. Why couldn't it have been Lex?! It should have been Lex. Now I'm feeling sympathetic for that poor evil fat bastard (and, yes, my canonical Lex Luthor is fat). In this issue, Superman deals with family troubles and some work issues. During those real problems, he stops an escape at Iron Heights Prison which is portrayed as a two page splash afterthought. Also he has sex with Lois twice. Now that's a Superman comic book I can wank off to! I mean I can appreciate! Which I guess are kind of the same thing.

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